He stops, glances back. His jaw is set, eyes hard, but there’s something vulnerable there too, something I recognize from that night.
I swallow, my throat burning. “Can we talk? Just…for a minute?”
He hesitates, then nods. We move to the small reading nook behind the reference desk, away from the cameras. My hands shake so bad I have to sit.
Jace stands, arms crossed, staring down at me. “What’s going on, Carrie?”
The words spill out, faster than I can control them. “I can’t do this anymore. I haven’t slept in days. I’ve been throwing up everymorning, and it’s not just nerves, it’s everything—Rodriguez, Marcy, Jinn, you, Levi, Nico?—”
He frowns, his guard up, but I keep going, desperate now.
“Rodriguez put me in here. He threatened me, Jace. Said if I didn’t help him get dirt on you, on the club, he’d ruin me. I made a deal. That’s why I’m here. That’s the truth.”
The words hang there, raw and ugly. My chest heaves, tears threatening, but I force myself to meet his eyes. “I tried to keep you all safe. I never gave him anything real. But I’m so alone, and I’m scared all the time.”
Jace’s face goes still. The silence between us is heavy, crackling with everything unsaid. I wipe at my eyes, breath shaky. “I’m sorry. I just—I can’t carry this by myself anymore.”
He stands there, quiet, searching my face, like he’s trying to figure out if I’m telling the whole truth. I’m terrified of what he’ll say, if he’ll hate me, if this is the end.
He doesn’t say anything for a second—just stares at me like he’s trying to make sense of what I’ve just said. Then his voice comes out, louder than I expect, rough with disbelief. “Are you absolutely out of your mind? You’re working with that jerk?”
I flinch, tears stinging my eyes. “I didn’t have a choice, Jace. He threatened me. He said if I didn’t cooperate?—”
“Sounds like the asshole I know.”
I nod, tears pricking my eyes. “Wait, you know him too?”
He scoffs, rubbing his jaw. “Yeah. He was at the station when we were brought in. Thought he was just some ATF asshole trying to make a name for himself. Didn’t know he’d crawl this deep into your life too.”
I swallow, guilt making my voice shake. “He wouldn’t take no for an answer. I tried to keep you out of it. I never gave him anything, Jace. I swear.”
He glares at the floor, breathing hard, then looks up at me, his eyes dark. “You should have told us. From the start. God, Carrie…”
I press my hand to my mouth, trying to keep it together. “I was scared. I’m still scared. I didn’t know who to trust.”
Jace shakes his head, clenching his jaw. “I can’t help you, Carrie. You made your own bed. Maybe you should’ve thought about that before you started playing both sides.”
His words sting, even though I know I deserve them. He walks away without another look back, leaving me sitting there, hands shaking, heart racing. I watch him disappear down the stacks, the ache in my chest getting heavier with every step he takes.
For a while, I just sit there, the silence swallowing me up. I feel trapped, like the walls are closing in, and the weight of everything I’ve done presses down so hard I can barely breathe.
If Rodriguez turns on me, I’m finished. If the truth comes out, I’m finished. I can’t go to prison. I can’t have this baby in a cell. The thought makes me want to scream, to run, to disappear. But I can’t run. There’s nowhere left to go.
My hand drifts to my belly. I can’t let anything happen to this baby. No matter what it costs. Even if it means betraying the men I’m falling in love with—Jace, Levi, Nico. The thought of it breaks something inside me, but the fear is stronger.
I blink back tears, realizing that for the first time in my life, I’m truly alone. And I have no idea how I’m going to survive this.
20
JC
Istorm out of the library, teeth clenched so hard my jaw aches. Can’t believe it. All this time, Carrie was an informant? Working for Rodriguez? Of all the damn things I thought she might be hiding, this wasn’t it.
I’m angry at her, but I’m angrier at myself. How could I not see it? Was I that blinded by how I felt about her, the way she looked at me, the way she let me touch her? Maybe I wanted to believe the lie.
But why tell me now? What’s her play here? If she really wanted to set us up, she would’ve kept quiet, played innocent, maybe given Rodriguez what he wanted and let us burn. She could’ve run with whatever she had and been done with us.
So why the confession? Is she scared? Trying to get us on her side, just in case? Or maybe she finally cracked under the pressure. Or maybe—maybe it was real. Maybe she trusts me. Or needs me.
