She takes in a breath. “I just didn’t want you to see me again, like this. I had no idea you were here.”
For some reason, I can’t bring myself to believe her. And despite the flicker of hope at seeing Carrie again, my gut twistswith unease. She offers to help, her voice soft and earnest, but there’s something she isn’t saying. Her answers about Jinn are too careful, her eyes darting away at the wrong moments. I want to trust her—God, I want to—but the stakes are too high now.
I turn the heavy book over in my hands, glancing down at the dense pages of legal code and feeling frustration start to burn in my chest. The language is thick, every sentence a maze. I know I could use her help, but something in me holds back.
“Please let me help,” she says.
“No, I’ll figure it out,” I say quietly, not quite meeting her gaze. I can see the hurt flash in her eyes, but I force myself to look away.
Without another word, I tuck the book under my arm and move down the aisle, every step growing heavier as the distance between us widens. I don’t look back. I don’t let myself.
13
CARRIE
Iwatch Levi’s back retreat down the aisle, the way his shoulders tense and his steps grow quick. Shame burns hot in my chest. I can tell I blew it—he saw straight through me, and I never was any good at lying, not to him, not to any of them.
My hands tremble on the cart handle. For a moment I stand there, frozen by the urge to keep hiding, to let him walk away and protect whatever scraps of safety I have left. But the guilt wins out. I leave the cart, hurrying after him, my shoes barely making a sound on the waxed linoleum.
“Levi,” I call, my voice low and breathless. “Wait, please—just give me a second.”
He slows but doesn’t turn, his head bowed, like he’s afraid to look at me and find out I’m not the person he remembers. I reach him by the end of the row, nearly out of breath, and catch his arm, gentle but desperate.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, not caring that anyone might hear. “I know I sounded off. I just…I didn’t know what to say. I don’t want you to think I’m here to hurt you, or that I’d ever be part of what Jinn did.”
Levi studies me for a long, heavy second. There’s suspicion and hurt in his eyes.
“Can we just—” I start, my voice too loud in the echoing library, and I clamp my mouth shut. I gesture toward a narrow section tucked between two dusty shelves, where no one ever seems to go. “Can we talk over here? Please.”
Levi grunts, his jaw tense, but follows. I walk ahead, trying to find words, heart hammering in my chest. “I know I gave you the wrong impression,” I say over my shoulder. “I swear, I don’t know anything about Jinn. I haven’t heard from him. I just…I panicked. I didn’t want to get you in trouble?—”
Before I can finish, I feel Levi’s presence right behind me, his heat closing in. In a flash, he’s there, his hand curling around my arm as he pushes me, gentle but firm, back against the metal shelving. The books rattle, dust drifting down. His body cages mine, solid and close, and for a split second, everything stops, just me and Levi and the thud of my heart in my throat.
“What are you up to?” he growls, his voice so low it sends a shiver through me. He leans in, crowding me, his chest pressing into mine, hips pinning me with nowhere to go. The scent of him, the memory of his hands on my skin, makes my knees weak. The tension crackles, so thick it feels like I could drown in it.
“Nothing,” I say, breathless, unable to look away. My hands are trapped between us, clutching his shirt. “This is my job now. I’m just trying to help you, Levi. I want you to trust me. Please.”
His eyes darken, his gaze dropping to my mouth and then back up, searching me, testing if I’ll break. My body remembers every second of that night—his lips, his fingers, the sound he made when I pulled him closer. The ache between us is almost painful.
“I need you to believe me,” I whisper, my lips barely moving.
Levi’s hands slide down my arms, slow and searching, his fingers curling around my waist and holding me against the shelves.
The tension between us thickens, every inch of his body pressed to mine, his breath rough at my ear.
I barely have to think about what I say next; the need is too raw, too honest. “There is one thing you can do to help me,” I murmur, my voice trembling with something that’s not quite fear. “Jinn broke my heart, Levi. I’ve been so alone.”
He exhales, the sound deep and ragged, and his grip tightens just a little, his hands running along my hips, finding the shape of me like he never forgot. His touch is fire and memory, and my body aches for more.
I tip my head back, meeting his gaze. “I just need—” I start, but the words catch on my tongue, lost in the heat between us. I don’t need to finish. He knows what I’m asking for, what I’ve been missing. His eyes flick over my face, hunger and tenderness warring there, and for a moment, nothing else matters but the wild way I want him, and the promise in his touch.
His body is so close I can barely breathe, the wall cool at my back, Levi’s heat burning through me everywhere we touch. His hands are braced on either side of my head, and I can feel the way his chest rises and falls, the tightness in his jaw as he fights with himself.
I look up, meeting those cold blue eyes. “Are you going to kiss me or not?” I whisper.
He doesn’t answer. He just leans in and crushes his mouth to mine, swallowing my gasp. It’s rough, urgent. He tastes like coffee and danger. My hands find his shirt, tugging him closer, and his thigh pushes between my legs, forcing them apart.
He grabs my wrists and pins them above my head, holding me trapped. His mouth moves down my throat, biting just enough to make me gasp again, his breath hot against my skin. Ican feel how hard he is, pressing against me, and I arch into him, shameless, desperate.
