I grind into my fingers as I rub my clit faster.
It’s not enough.
I reach beneath my bed and pull out the box of sex toys. There’s not much in there, but there’s a dildo I’m aching to ride.
I suction it to the floor and drop to my knees, lowering myself on top of it. “Ezra, fuck, yes, that feels so good.”
I roll my hips, taking it deeper, sinking down as far as I can.
The dildo fills me, but not the way he does. It’s still not enough.
My hands roam over my body, squeezing my breasts hard as I rock my hips faster, riding the cock the way I want to ride him. Pressure starts to build deep in my body, arousal dripping down my thighs.
With another moan, head tipping back, my hand trails down my body and dips back between my thighs.
I swirl my fingers over my clit in time with the rocking.
As soon as I press my fingers harder against my clit, the orgasm takes over, shooting through my body and making me weak in the knees.
I come hard, falling to all fours and still slowly rocking, drawing it out for as long as possible.
When the waves of pleasure finally stop, I get up and grab a robe from the closet, tying it tight around my waist before going to the camera.
What the hell did I just do?
My cheeks burn as I hold my head high and grab the camera out of its hiding place. “Consider that the last orgasm you’re ever going to give me.”
This is toxic. I can’t keep doing this. I’m losing myself more and more each day for the sake of trying to keep him alive.
He’s made his choice, and it’s time for me to make mine.
No more second chances. No more giving my heart to a man who is only going to destroy me in the end.
This time, I’m choosing myself.
I throw the camera to the ground, watching the screen smash.
It doesn’t feel like enough.
I snatch down one of the books from my shelf, the largest one I can find, and beat the hell out of the camera until I feel nothing left.
It still doesn’t heal the hole Ezra put in my heart, though.
That might be there forever, a scar to remind me of what happens when you choose someone else before yourself.
As I stare at the pieces of the camera, it feels like I’m closing the page on one chapter of my life.
And instead of a blank page following it, ready to start a new chapter, there’s a page covered in a language I don’t know and can’t even begin to decipher.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
EZRA
The roarof the crowd is nearly enough to drown out the alarm bells in my head telling me that this is a bad idea. That I should leave the fight now before it gets me killed. That I should’ve listened to Jade when she told me she was worried.
I could go to her apartment right now and get her back for that little show she put on the other night.
It’d be too easy to walk out of here and not look back, but Noah would be pissed.
