I pull the asparagus out of the oven, setting it to the side and tossing off a mitt. Snatching up the wooden spoon, I stir the sauce in the pan.
“You’re starting to worry me.” He puts his hands on my hips, the planes of his body pressed against my back, the curve of his cock digging into my ass.
I lean back into him, even though I know it’s a bad idea.
I shouldn’t be getting more attached to him. I should be distancing myself.
Ezra’s warm breath ghosts over my neck, sending a shiver down my spine. “Did you poison me, love?”
“No.” I lick the spoon to prove a point. “Why would I?”
“Because we both know that, sooner or later, this is going to have to end.”
“And you think it’s going to end one way or another?” I move out of his grip, grabbing down the plates and dishing up the food.
He hums and goes to light the candles in the center of the table. “It’s going to have to, eventually. We’re either going to try to kill each other, or something else is going to happen. Noah is going to know I was meeting with your family. There will be punishment for that. If he doesn’t kill me.”
“Do you worry about him killing you?” I put the loaded plates on the table before taking my seat.
Ezra sits down and slices into the steak, swirling it through the sauce. “Not really. Probably should be. I know he’s got no qualms about it. Doesn’t matter, though. Everyone ends up dead one day or another.”
My stomach ties itself into a knot, my appetite disappearing. “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you have to speed it up. I shouldn’t have brought you to meet my family. I may not like you that much, but I don’t want to see you dead yet either.”
The corner of his mouth twitches, his gaze locking with mine. “Because you don’t want anyone else to do the job?”
“Exactly,” I force out, though I know I shouldn’t have to force myself.
After all he’s done, I should want to kill him. There’s a part of me that does. It’s not like I didn’t think about dosing the sauce with antifreeze or asking Ellie what medications she had access to that could kill a man.
Joshua wouldn’t have hesitated to give me enough coke to kill a horse.
I have every opportunity in the world, and I’m not taking it. I think that says a little something about how deeply fucked up I am inside.
Or maybe how good it feels to be with someone who finally sees me for who I am. Someone who, in a weird way, wants what’s best for me. I think.
“Do you ever think about the future?” I stab a piece of asparagus, popping it in my mouth.
Ezra motions to the food in front of him, half his plate already gone. “This is really good.”
“Thank you.” I force myself to eat a couple of pieces of steak. “Seriously, though, do you think about the future?”
He finishes his food, his gaze searching mine. “Doesn’t seem to be much point in thinking beyond a few weeks from now. Don’t know what’s going to happen or what kind of mood Noah is going to be in.”
“And you don’t think you should plan for that?”
He shrugs and leans back in his chair. “Do you plan for all the ways your family’s activities could get you killed? Or do you go about living your life and just hope it doesn’t happen?”
“Well, I guess I hope it doesn’t happen.” I bite my lower lip for a second before sighing. “I don’t know, to be honest. Anytime I ever thought about the future, it’s been in relation to what my family is going to need from me and when. I haven’t had much time to think about what life would look like if I actually followed my passions.”
“You’re doing that now.” He gets up from the table, taking his plate into the kitchen and rinsing it off before rolling up his sleeves and getting to work on the rest of the dishes. “You might not want to think about it, but with everything changing, maybe it’s time you start.”
“Maybe you’re right.” I pick at a little more of my dinner. “You have a fight tonight, don’t you?”
“Yeah.” He hums to himself, shifting his weight from one foot to the other as he scrubs the dishes. “And you’re going to be here, studying, and not distracting me, right?”
I take my plate into the kitchen, packing away the leftovers. “I’m a distraction?”
He gives me a smile that has me considering asking him to bend me over the counter. “You’re the biggest distraction I have.”
