“Did you actually go?” Graham asked.
Murphy gave him a disgusted look as if to say, “What do you think?” So Graham shrugged and opened the door.
It was warm inside the building and even warmer in his apartment as he unhooked Murphy’s leash and kicked off his slides.
Murphy settled right down on his blanket on the couch, so Graham shut off the lights as he walked through the apartment.
He paused in the doorway, looking at Thad.
He’d settled in too, the covers pulled up to his chest, one hand behind his head as he browsed his phone with the other, posed in a way that made him look relaxed and at home.
Like he belonged there.
He looked up, gaze intent.
Despite the goosebumps on Graham’s skin, his skin heated at the lazy way Thad stared at him. He pulled off his sweatshirt—Thad’s sweatshirt—and tossed it on the chair nearby. He shucked off the sweatpants too, letting them join the shirt.
“Hey. Can I ask you something?” Thad asked.
“Sure,” Graham said, reaching for the bedroom doorhandle, intending to pull it shut behind him.
“Could you, uh, could you leave the door open and the light on?” Thad said, his voice gone suddenly gruff. “Unless it’ll bother you while you sleep.”
Graham frowned. That wasn’t what he’d expected at all. “Thebedroomlight?”
“No. It could be one in the living room or the bathroom or whatever. Just—just so it’s not pitch-black in here.”
“Sure,” Graham said, opening the door with a laugh. He stepped into the living room for a moment to flip on a table lamp, then returned to the bedroom. “What? Are you afraid of the dark?”
It was a joke, something he didn’t expect Thad to take seriously, but he caught a glimpse of his fingers tightening on the duvet cover.
“No. But I got used to having it on in prison. It’s never really fully dark there, and …”
“Shit,” Graham whispered, suddenly appalled at the way he’d poked fun at something that clearly bothered Thad. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I never thought?—”
Thad shrugged, but there was still tension in those broad shoulders of his as Graham crossed the room to the bed. “It’s fine.”
“So you, uh, don’t sleep well with the lights off, or …?” Graham threw back the covers and settled beside Thad. Heat radiated from his body and Graham scooted closer, wanting that warmth, and, more importantly, the touch.
Thad shifted to turn out the bedside lamp. He let out a hollow laugh as he settled on his back again. “I don’t sleepat all. I lay there staring up at the ceiling and my head gets so full of anxiety, wondering what the fuck I might not be able to see happening.”
“Huh,” Graham said, flipping onto his side to look at Thad, even though his eyes hadn’t really adjusted to the dark yet. He could see a vague outline silhouetted against the window. “I’m sorry. Thatreallysucks.”
Thad shrugged again. “It’s something I’m used to at this point. I’ve been able to get rid of a lot of that shit. Like I don’t eat all hunched over my plate and shovel my food in like someone’s going to snatch it away anymore. But some things don’t—they don’t go away as easily.”
“Have you thought about talking to someone about it?” Graham asked, a touch wary because he wasn’t sure how that suggestion would go over.
Thad snorted. “Dude, I have a therapist I meet with regularly. We’ve been working on all this shit for almost a year. It’s just … it’s one of those stubborn issues I can’t quite let go of. It doesn’t really bother me anymore. But until now I’ve never had anyone in my life it might bother.”
He shifted onto his side too, frowning at Graham in the dim bedroom. “Is it a big deal if I leave the light on? I’ve never—I’ve never spent the night with someone before, so I’m not quite sure how to handle this.”
“Nah, it’ll be fine,” Graham assured him. He reached out and took Thad’s hand, squeezing it, touched that Thad was willing to stay over with him. “I’ll use an eye mask. We’ll figure this out.”
He briefly turned away to grab a mask from the nightstand drawer, then settled back against his pillow, shivering a little because damn, the nights were getting cold. Fall was really settling in.
“Hey. C’mere,” Thad said gruffly. He held out an arm.
Graham settled into the crook of his body, his head on Thad’s shoulder. He wasn’t used to being held like this, but it was nice. He breathed in the scent of Thad’s skin, enjoying the lazy play of Thad’s fingers against his shoulder blades.
