“I think the biggest thing might be because now I know you have my back,” he admitted, looking Graham in the eye.
Graham frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I mean …” Thad swallowed hard. “One of the most difficult and damaging things about being in prison—at least for me—was constantly being on alert. I couldn’t relax. I always had to watch my back.”
“And Teddy’s,” Graham said.
Thad nodded. “And Teddy’s. I never could let down my guard. I was always braced for something to happen. It’s not even the big shit, necessarily. Not the guard messing with you or the guy a few cells over who’s trying to start something. It’s …”
He took a moment, trying to get his thoughts in order. “Even in my cell, even while Islept, I could get woken up by some guard. Sometimes they pulled some bullshit like waking us up to inspect our cells for contraband. Hell, guys even got transferred to different facilities in the middle of the night.”
“That’s fucking awful,” Graham said.
“Can’t say I was a fan,” Thad agreed. “But that kind of thing, it means you can never fullyrelax. You’re always on edge, waiting for something to happen. It’s rare I get more than a few hours of sleep at a time. And,neverwith someone else in the room with me.”
Because while he’dlikedTeddy, thought he was a good guy, he’d never been one-hundred-percent sure Teddy wouldn’t dick him over if it meant saving his own skin or protecting what little control and autonomy he had.
Thad couldn’t even blame Teddy. The prison system fostered that attitude. They were all doing their best to get by with the deck stacked against them.
“But you did sleep through the night,” Graham whispered, looking at him with this mixture of awe and bewilderment. “Last night you trusted me enough to stay over and …”
“I do trust you,” Thad said. “And while I am still against you fighting—especiallyfor me—I guess itdiddo something to know you would unquestioningly throw yourself in front of any threatsto me. Even if they’re just stupid words from a shitty hockey player.”
Graham smiled. He opened his mouth to say something, but he shook his head and closed it again, dipping his head to kiss Thad.
Thad smiled against his mouth and kissed him back. A little chaste—because whatever Graham said, morning breath wasn’t pleasant—but filled with love.
“I wish we had more time,” Graham said with a longing sigh as he sat up a few moments later. “There are so many things I’d like to do to you right now.”
Thad grinned. “Yeah?”
“Oh yeah.” Graham’s voice turned husky. “Abso-fucking-lutely. But you need to get up and get ready for work. You’re gonna have to swing by your place for clean clothes first, right?”
Thad groaned and let his head fall back against the pillow. “Probably.”
“There’s a solution to that,” Graham said.
“Yeah?” Thad kept his expression neutral.
As much as he loved Graham, he hoped he wasn’t going to ask him to move in. Thadwantedto believe he was ready for that commitment, but this was still early. Still a little too soon to say if sleeping through the night in Graham’s bed would be a regular thing. Or a one-off.
He had to be sure he was ready for it, but he hated the thought of disappointing Graham by saying no.
“Yep,” Graham said. “Bring some clothes over so whenever you do stay over, you’ll have them here. I’ll clear out a drawer and closet space for you.”
He grinned and slapped Thad’s side, then swung a leg over his midsection to get up off the bed. The movement made Thad wonder why he hadn’t had Graham ride his dick yet.
“Uhh, sure,” Thad agreed, attempting to focus on the conversation at hand. Anything that gave them more time together was a good thing.
He sat up and called after Graham, “Hey, what are you doing after work? Well, aftermywork is done. I know you have practice this morning.”
Graham turned back to face him. “Nothing much? I was planning to do a few errands after practice, but otherwise, probably relax. Why?”
“Oh, I have a few ideas,” Thad said with a grin as he got out of bed.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
On Thanksgiving morning, Thad’s stomach was in knots.
