Graham felt weirdly calm about this. He’dknownThad had secrets. That there were things he wanted or maybe even needed to tell him. But he also felt certain whatever it was, they’d figure it out.
He’d listen and he’d try to understand.
“You can trust me,” Graham reminded Thad softly. “Whatever this is, I want to know you. The good, the bad, and the ugly. You don’t have to hide from me.”
Thad gave him another faint smile but there was still a tinge of worry in his eyes.
Graham wanted to get up and go sit next to him, put his arms around him, but he got the feeling Thad needed a little bit of space right now.
“I know.” Thad rubbed the back of his neck. “I know I can trust you. And I didn’t—I didn’t keep it from you because I thought I couldn’t trust you. It was because I didn’t feel like it was my story to tell, exactly. But, uh, Gavin kinda reminded me that isn’t exactly true.”
“Okay.” Graham frowned, a little confused.
“It’s my story too. MineandGavin’s.”
Graham nodded.
Thad took a deep breath. “I didn’t go to prison because I robbed an electronics store. I went becauseGavindid.”
“What?” Graham sat there on Thad’s shitty mattress, staring open-mouthed as Thad told the story of when the cracks in their relationship first started to form.
When Gavin began to pull away. To change. To act out.
“I had no idea at the time it was because—because he was struggling with his sexuality,” Thad continued, his expression filled with pain. “I had no idea what the GMs had told him. Or how blatantly our parents had—had reinforced that.”
“That’s awful,” Graham said quietly. “I can’t imagine.”
“It was. And Gavin, he was in abadplace then,” Thad said. “And I—I was trying to save him.”
When he got to the part about signing the plea deal, Graham scowled. “You were akid. Your parents should have been there!”
“I was legally an adult,” Thad said quietly.
“Yeah, but …” Something about it didn’t sit right with Graham. “That feels like … like an overzealous prosecutor to me or something.”
Thad shrugged. “Yeah, probably. I am sure they were eager to get the case wrapped up.”
“You might be able to appeal that. I think there are options for after release,” Graham said with a frown. “Even long after.”
“Baby,” Thad said. He stood and walked over to the mattress, taking a seat at the foot of it. “I appreciate that you’re trying to help but I don’twantthat. I know confessing to a crime I didn’t commit seems insane.”
“I think it was a hell of a thing to do for someone,” Graham agreed because his head was spinning with everything Thad had told him.
And at this point, it wasn’t from the drinking.
“That’s what everyone tells me,” Thad said grimly. “But at the time, I couldn’t imagine doing anything else. Istillcan’t imagine it, to be honest.”
Graham nodded because he didn’t know what to say.
Thad’s expression was distant as he said, “I remember sitting there in the interrogation room, scared shitless. All I could think about was Gavin and the way he was careening out of control. I thought about the choices he’d made and that if Ididn’tdo this, he’d keep going. He’d go to prison, and he’d stay on this self-destructive path and he’d end updead.”
The pain in Thad’s voice made Graham’s eyes prick with tears.
“I sat there, staring at the confession I’d given them, and I thought about taking it back. About ripping it up and blurting out the truth that it was Gavin, not me, who’d done it. But every time I opened my mouth to say it, I felt like throwing up. I felt like I’d be condemning my brother to death. Because he was … he wasn’thimselfback then. He’s always been a ‘go big or go home’ kinda guy his whole fucking life, but this was …”
Thad wiped at his eyes. “Thisscaredme shitless. He was hell bent on destruction, and I might have been naive in a lot of ways but I was smart enough to know prison wasn’t going tohelphim. And I wasconvincedif I signed the confession, if I gave up my future, I could buy his. Like everything was being weighed by some cosmic scale. Like if I gave up years of my life, I could save his.”
“And you did.”
