“I’m fucking sorry,” he rasped, low in his ear. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Thad asked thickly because adrenaline was still coursing through his body, and he was still braced for a hit that didn’t appear to be coming.
“For—for not understanding you.” Gavin pulled back, but only far enough to look him in the eye. “For not appreciating what you did for me, for not seeing how much you’ve grown—” But he shook his head. “No, that’s wrong, isn’t it? I had this idea you hadn’t really grown up. That you were fucking around and refusing to settle down but that wasn’t itat all, was it?”
Thad shrugged, looking away from Gavin’s intent gaze. “I was fighting to survive,” he said quietly.
“And you never let anyone get close to you until now.”
It wasn’t a question, but Thad nodded. “Yeah. I mean, when your own fucking family leaves you to rot in prison, you pretty much figure out everyone else is a wash,” he said bitterly.
Gavin staggered back, letting go of him. “Fuck. This is my fault, isn’t it?”
“I don’t even fuckingcarewhose fault it is. I’m just tired of this, Gav. Tired of fighting with you and having you watch me suspiciously. Tired of everyone looking at me like they’re waiting for me to fail.”
“What do you want then?”
“A little fucking respect for how hard I’ve worked to get where I am. To keep this job. I’m good at it. YouknowI am.”
Gavin nodded. “You are.”
“I guess in the end I want what pretty much anyone wants. Peace. Stability. I want a job I like that pays the bills. I want to spend time with my family—which isyou, you fucking asshole, if you need a reminder.” His voice dropped to a bare whisper. “But mostly I want to wake up beside the person I love.”
“He’s good for you,” Gavin said quietly.
“How the fuck would you know?” Thad said irritably. “You just found out ten minutes ago.”
Gavin chuckled. “Because it’s been years since I’ve seen you fight so hard for something you want.”
“Fair enough. Honestly, Graham’s probablytoogood for me,” Thad admitted with a rueful little laugh, tipping his head up to look at the sky for a moment. It was either that or start crying again.
“No, I don’t think so.” Gavin’s tone turned thoughtful. “I think Graham is a good person. Solid, dependable. I think he’s a good anchor point for you. But you’re a good person too.”
Thad’s heart ached because hewantedto believe his brother meant it. “Am I?”
“You gave up a decade of your life to protect someone you loved. That sounds like it to me.”
Thad’s throat worked but he couldn’t quite seem to make any words come out.
Gavin stepped forward again. “Have I ever told you thank you for everything you did for me?”
Thad shook his head.
“Then I will now. Thank you for protecting me. For giving up your dreams for mine. I’m sorry you ever had to. I’m sorry I ever put you in the position where you felt like you had to.”
“Do you mean it?” Thad asked roughly, his eyes wet again.
“Every word of it. And I should have told you sooner.” Gavin gripped his shoulders and looked him in the eye.
“Does this mean I’m not getting fired?” Thad asked, a little more shakily than he would have liked.
Gavin choked out a laugh. “You’re not getting fired.”
“And Graham’s not in trouble?”
Smiling, Gavin squeezed his shoulders. “No.”
“How’d you figure it out, anyway?” Thad asked.
