We stand there, two idiots pretending the world isn’t about to tilt. Then he steps closer, slow enough for me to back away if I want to, but I don’t. His glove-roughened hand lifts to my jaw, thumb brushing my cheek.
He leans in, his voice a whisper against my lips. “You really think I can’t kiss you goodnight just because I said we’d keep it quiet?”
His lips brush against mine. I exhale into him, and he groans low in his throat and tilts my chin higher, deepening it. His hand slides to the back of my neck, holding me there like he’s afraid I’ll vanish. When he finally pulls back, my knees aren’t entirely trustworthy.
“That was—” I start.
“Necessary,” he says. “Really fucking necessary.”
My laugh comes out breathless. “Think you’ll survive the next few days without…” My eyes drop to his crotch, and he laughs.
“Previously, I’d have said yes without a second thought.”
“And now?”
His smile fades and he reaches his hand up once more to hold my face. “Now I don’t want to go a single minute without you.”
My heart trips over itself. I don’t know what that means exactly but I know that whatever this is between us, is either going to be the most amazing thing ever or the biggest heartbreak in the world. The porch light of my parents’ house glows at the end of the street. Reality’s waiting again.
He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, kissing the tip of my nose and then my lips one last time. “Go inside before you freeze.”
CHAPTER 17
Cole
My mom’s kitchen looks like a Christmas bomb went off. There’s flour on the counter, cinnamon in the air, Bing Crosby doing his thing from the old speaker in the corner. She’s humming, wearing that red apron she’s had since I was a kid, and right next to her is Hailey.
And I have to stand here, steadying a ladder for my dad while he curses about burned-out bulbs and act like I didn’t have this woman riding me in a crappy motel like nobody ever has and then in my head every damn night.
“Cole, honey, hand Hailey the icing,” Mom says without looking, like this is normal. Like this is fine. “She’s doing the little buttons.”
I release the ladder just long enough to grab the piping bag. Hailey glances up at me and for a second, we just stare at each other, like we’re both picturing every filthy fucking thing I’ve done to her. I put the bag in her hand.
“Thanks,” she murmurs.
Maddie spins past in fuzzy socks and a Santa headband. “Okay, I found the other box of ornaments and Dad, the church called and said the heater’s acting up again so you and Mr.Handy over there”—she jerks her thumb at me—“are on holy furnace duty after lunch.”
“I already told them I’d look at it,” Dad grunts.
“You said that last year,” Mom says. “And we almost froze during the pageant.”
I hold the ladder while Dad messes with the curtain rod for the garland. “I’ll go with you,” I tell him.
“Hailey, sweetheart, did you get caught up on sleep yet?” Mom asks, sliding another tray of gingerbread men onto the counter. “Cole told us about spending the night in that motel.”
Hailey’s eyes flash to mine and I can’t hide my smile at her look of pure panic.
“Yeah,” Hailey says easily, rolling a little button of icing onto the cookie. “Nothing beats being back in my own bed.”
“Oh, I bet,” my mom continues. “I always say that those hotel beds are just so hard, you know? I always feel so sore and worn out after a night like that.”
I have to turn away and pretend to mess with the extension cord before anyone sees how red my face is and the fact I’m having to keep myself from bursting out into laughter.
Maddie’s still talking. “—and then tonight we have to run to the church to set up the poinsettias. Hailey, you are absolutely coming, and then tomorrow is Grandma’s cookie swap so we need, like, ten dozen.”
I duck into the living room, partly to get away from the smell of gingerbread and the sight of Hailey laughing with my mom, partly to keep Dad from falling off the ladder.
“Footing,” I remind him, planting my hands on the sides.
