We crawl into bed together, and when Luca is settled with his head resting on my shoulder, I feel at peace.
He drags his fingertips over my chest mindlessly for a few seconds, then raises up to look at me. He searches my face in the dark, his gray eyes like a caress as they roam over my face.
“Hey, Austin?” he says quietly, locking his gaze on mine.
“Hey, Luca?” I respond, smiling when he does.
He’s quiet for a second, staring down at me with indecision flashing in his eyes. His throat bobs with a heavy swallow, his fingers still drawing patterns on my skin.
“Are you okay?” I whisper.
He nods slowly. “Yeah, I…” He swallows again, then breaks eye contact. “I just wanted to say thank you again for the laptop.”
I cup his face, rubbing my thumb on his cheek. “You don’t have to thank me, baby. I already told you.”
“Fuck,” he whispers, letting out a shaky breath. “That’s… that’s not what I wanted to say. What I wanted to say is…” I wait him out, continuing to stroke his face gently. “I love you,” he whispers, eyes flying back to mine.
I stare into his gorgeous gray eyes, trying to force my heart out of my throat and back into my chest. He doesn’t look afraid at all, and I’m thankful for that. “In what way?” I ask, mirroring his words.
His lips curve into the most beautiful, breathtaking smile I’ve ever seen. “In all the ways.”
“Jesus.” I use my hold on him to pull him down, pressing my lips to his. He’s smiling. Smiling and kissing me, and I love him so damn much that it’s a miracle I survived all the years leading up to having him like this. I break our kiss so I can look at him. “I love you too, baby.”
He nods, his smile so sweet it nearly cracks my heart in two. “I know. I believe you, and Itrustyou. Thank you for waiting for me.”
I shake my head. “You don’t need to thank me. I’d wait for you forever.”
“Thankfully, you don’t have to,” he says, giggling.
No, thankfully, I don’t. But I would. As long as I had him in my life, I’d wait forever. Even if he never loved me back. Even if he never wanted a relationship with me. Just having him as my best friend would be enough. “I’ll never need anything but you,” I say softly, watching as his pupils dilate.
“I’ll never want anything but you.”
I cock my head, noticing the change in words, and he grins. “I’ve learned some important things about life and love since Damien.”
“Yeah?”
He nods solemnly. “Yeah. I don’t ever want toneedsomeone again. I know, in my heart and soul, that you would never, ever hurt me.” I shake my head vehemently, because no, I wouldn’t. “But… I don’t want toneedyou. I don’t want my life to be reliant on you. I want to work and make my own money. I want to be able to support myself if we don’t work out.”
When I raise an eyebrow, he chuckles. “I can’t see us not working out,” he continues, smiling at me. “But I don’t ever want to be stuck again.”
“I understand that, and I’m so proud of you for that.”
“I’m proud of me too.” Fuck, those might be the best words I’ve ever heard. “And I love you. And I want you. But I don’t need you. And honestly, Austin, I think that makes you the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
His words take my breath away and have my heart pounding. It truly is the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard, and he’s right. It’s special; that kind of love. He depended on Damien and lived according to his whims. I like knowing that he trusts in himself enough to know that he’d survive without me. That I don’t hold all the cards, and that he gets to be in control of his own life, and that even still, hewantsme to be a part of it.
“I love you, Luc. So damn much. And I’m thrilled to be wanted and not needed.”
He leans forward to kiss me again. I take my time, exploring his mouth and swallowing his moans as we lose ourselves in one another. God, I love him so much.
Ma
Can you please come by after work today before you go home? I need to talk to you about something.
Me
Of course. I’ll be there right around 7:15.
