I shake my head, but his grip tightens. “I don’t see you that wayat all. It wasn’t—it wasn’t aboutyou.It was an idea. Just an idea.”
He yanks my head back. “That’s the problem with you, Luca. You twist everything I do and say. You act like such a fucking martyr. You’re dramatic. And for what?”
“I don’t do that. I’m sorry. It was just a book idea. It has nothing to do with you.”
I can tell right away those were the wrong words.
“That’s bullshit, Luca. You were textingAustin.You know how I feel about him. What if he thinks I hurt you? Why would you even give him that idea?”
Because you do. All the time. My feelings, my body, my head. It’s hurt, hurt, hurt all the time.I want to scream the words. I want to shove them down his throat and make him swallow them.
“You betrayed me,” Damien whispers.
“I didn’t,” I whisper back. “I promise I didn’t. I’m sorry.”
Something flashes across his face, and it makes my blood run cold. He releases his tight grip on my hair, deceptively calm. “Get undressed and on your hands and knees. It seems like you need another lesson on who you belong to.”
I hesitate only for a second, but it’s a second too long. Damien wraps his hand around my throat, jerking me forward. “Now, Luca. Don’t make me ask twice.” He lets go, shoving me back, and stands, leaving the room.
I strip my clothes off quickly, my brain turning to white noise, and do what he asked.
I try to regulate my breathing, try to calm the frantic beating of my heart. It’s okay. I can do this. It’s not the first time. I just need to let him get it out of his system. I’ll be okay.
The door creaks, and I flinch. I don’t even mean to. It just happens. I force myself to inhale another deep breath.
The bed dips, and then Damien’s hand is on my back—making a soft path up my skin. It’s gentle—reverent, almost—and it sends a chill through me. Fingers tangle in my hair and yank my head back. A warm body presses against me. Teeth sink into my shoulder.
I close my eyes.
The sound of lube being opened has my jaw clenching. I’m expecting fingers, at least one. Hopefully two. If I’m lucky, three.
There aren’t any. Just the blunt head of Damien’s cock against my already sore entrance.He’s not going to prep me?Panic rises in my chest, and my breath gets caught in my lungs. “Damien, wait—”
He doesn’t wait. He just presses forward roughly. Pain explodes through me. “I need… Can you just…” I stop talking when he grasps my hair and shoves my face into the pillow.
“Be quiet, love. You’re still stretched from last night. You’ll be fine.”
I won’t be fine. This fucking hurts. “Stop,” I croak out, my voice trembling.
Damien freezes. “Excuse me?”
“Please, Damien.”
For a second, I let myself believe he will. I let myself believe he won’t hurt me this way. He pulls away, his weight disappearing. Relief rushes in, warm and potent, making my body slump and my lungs fill with oxygen.
The relief is short-lived. I’m being lifted, pushed. I land hard on the ground. Fight or flight kicks in, and I stand, trying to run.
Damien’s in front of me before I can get far. I can just barely make out his eyes, but even without the light, I know how they look. Cold. Empty. Emotionless. My fear ratchets up. He grabs my throat hard, shoving me into the wall. It knocks the air out of me, forcing a gasp from my lungs.
He squeezes, pressing against my windpipe with his palm. “You don’t get to tell me to stop, Luca. You don’t get to ask for things.”
My head swims, my lungs screaming for air. I can’t breathe. Holy fuck, I can’t breathe.
My feet leave the ground, I think. Or maybe not. Maybe it’s the lack of oxygen making the room spin. I open my mouth to say Damien’s name, to try to get him to let me go, but my voice won’t work.
He loosens his hold, and I drag in a breath—one single breath—thankful for the reprieve. My head slams against the wall. Then again. The hand tightens.
Another slam. Something cracks. My vision goes blurry, the room spinning in and out of focus.
