“Do you wanna try it out? I need to see what it’s like from the passenger side.”
Arlo laughs, his own excitement starting to grow. “Okay, yeah. I’ll give it a spin.”
I pull off on the side of the road, nearly bursting as I jump out and run around the front, passing Arlo. I know there’s a dopey grin on my face, but I can’t even help it. I’ve never bought a car before. Not like this. I picked one from the approved list of cars that Damien gave me. Charcoal and black were my only two options for colors. A dent or a scratch? Forget about it; no way was that going to be seen at our house. What would the neighbors think?
As soon as Arlo pulls back onto the highway, I chuckle. “Fuck Damien. I’m buying this stupid, ugly car.”
“Yeah. Fuck Damien!” Arlo says.
“Fuck Damien!” I say a little louder, joy and fear and excitement all fighting for control of my body. My mouth opens, another laugh spilling from me. The fucked-up thing is that, until it came out, Iwasn’t sure if it would be a laugh or a sob. I’m glad it was the former. No need to be embarrassing myself in front of my new friend.
“Are you really gonna get it?” Arlo asks, glancing at me. “You don’t wanna try nothing else first?”
“Nope. Not even a little bit.” I run my hand over the dash. “I think it’s perfect.” I just need to call Austin to come get his truck.
I’m just finishing up signing the papers when Austin finally returns my call.
“Hey,” I say, pressing the phone to my ear and taking the keys from the salesman with a mouthed “Thank you.”
“You okay?”
Warmth floods my stomach at the concern in Austin’s voice. “Yeah, do you think you could come pick up your truck?”
There’s silence on the line. “Did you wreck it or something?”
“No. I bought a car.”
“You… bought a car.”
I nod in excitement, trying not to laugh at Arlo’s facial expression. “Yeah. It’s ugly as hell, but I like it. It’s the opposite of what Damien would want for me.”
Austin’s chuckle makes another breathless laugh leave me. “Okay. I’m assuming you’re at the lot in town.”
“Yep.”
Austin’s quiet for a second. “Jasper’s gonna come pick me up now, and we’ll be there soon, okay?”
“Perfect.” I start to pull the phone away from my ear to hang up when him saying my name catches my attention. “Yeah?”
“It’s really nice to hear how happy you sound right now. I could bottle the sound of that giggle of yours.”
My heart takes off at a wild gallop, my already huge smile growing. “See you soon.”
I hang up before he can say anything else. Arlo grins at me. “You’ve got a crush.”
“What?” Holy shit, my voice sounds squeaky. “No, I don’t.”
He shakes his head. “Sure. If you say so.”
“It would be impossible to have a crush on Austin. He’s like my—” My words cut off before I can say anything else because no, he’s not at all like my brother, but that doesn’t mean I have a crush.
Arlo’s eyebrows shoot to his hairline. “Like your brother, huh?”
I groan. “Oh God. I don’t have a crush on him.”
I can’t, right? You don’t just… develop a crush on someone you’ve known your entire life. Sure, our relationship is different now. We’re older, and I cling to him because even though I was screaming, “Fuck Damien,” half an hour ago, I’m still terrified of him. I love cuddling with Austin and being in his bed. But that doesn’t mean crush.
He’s safe. That’s it. My throat goes dry. Thathasto be it. Anything else is far too terrifying to admit. Even to myself.
