He looks at me in confusion. “I said no.”
I can’t help but smile at him. “A little louder. He didn’t break me.”
Understanding lights up his features, and he gives me a slight nod. “He didn’t fucking break me.” His voice is solid and sure, and I’m so fucking proud of him I could weep.
“He didn’t fucking break you,” I repeat.
“He didn’t fucking break me. I’m getting out,” he says louder. “Fuck him. I’m going home.”
Fuck yes, you’re going home, Luca. And I’ll never let him touch you again.
Chapter 6
Luca
I’mprettysureI’mlying to myselfandto Austin. If Damien really didn’t break me, I wouldn’t be so afraid. I wouldn’t be second-guessing myself. I wouldn’t be convinced that leaving will be the worst mistake I’ve ever made in my life.
The airport is loud, but thankfully, the acetaminophen Austin gave me is starting to work. The throbbing ache behind my eyes is finally waning. It still hurts, but it’s not like it was, and now that the fog of pain is starting to clear, I’m more aware of my surroundings.
It was easy to ignore the eyes of everyone in the hospital. For one, because they were looking at Austin more than me. But also because my head hurt so badly, I couldn’t even think past it. There for a second, my vision went a little blurry, and I thought I was going topass out. I chose to keep that from the doctor. I wasn’t taking any chances on not being able to leave.
I know Damien will be home before I get on this plane. He’ll probably text me first. Let me know he’s on his way. If he doesn’t get a response, he’ll most likely assume I’m getting ready. He’ll think I’m excited to go get my laptop. He’ll think I’m waiting for him.
And then he’ll walk into the bedroom. He’ll see my phone sitting on my pillow. The unmade bed. Will he be sad? Will he want to find me?
What if he does? I don’t think I deleted my last call with Austin. Will he see that I called him? Will he make assumptions? He could find me. He really could. My throat tightens. I hate him, but I don’t at the same time. The thought of angering him or upsetting him has my stomach turning with dread.
Especially because if he finds me before we get on the plane, I’ll go with him. I’ll apologize. I’ll do whatever it takes to get him to forgive me. But I also don’t want to. God, it’s all fucked up in my head.
I glance at Austin. He hasn’t talked to me much since we’ve gotten here, but I’m hoping it’s just that he’s tired and not that he’s regretting this—coming to getme.
I let my eyes scan the airport, and one by one, people turn their gaze from me. They’ve all been staring. Like I’m some fucking freak or something. Like somehowI’mthe problem instead of the man who put these marks on me.
Even just thinking about Damien that way makes me almost break into a cold sweat. I let out a breath, trying to calm myself down. I’m not staying here. I’m not. No matter how much my fight or flight wants me to fly my ass back home.
Austin’s right. I’m not sure I’ll even have a future if I stay here.
“You okay?” Austin asks, pulling me out of my spiraling thoughts and making me jump a little.
“Yeah. Head’s doing a bit better.”
I drop my eyes. I don’t want to see the silent, judgy stares anymore. I can feel them. Ice over my skin and condemnation sinking into my bones. I want to tell them all that I’m the victim here. That I didn’t do anything wrong, but I can’t. Because I’m not sure that’s really true.
All I needed to do was keep a clean house and anticipate Damien’s needs. It’s not like I didn’t have plenty of time to learn. I should have done better. I should have been able to do what he needed. To be what he needed. He didn’t ask much from me at all. I didn’t even have to work. All I had to do was what he wanted.
“Luca?”
I drag my gaze up, and Austin’s staring at me in concern, his brown eyes scanning my face. He used to complain that blonds should have blue eyes, not brown, but I always thought his eyes seemed warm. He doesn’t look much different than the last time I saw him. He’s filled out some, his face is a little more mature, but he’s mostly the same. I don’t even feel like the Luca who knew him exists anymore. “What?” I ask, trying to bring myself back to the present.
“I asked if you were sure you’re okay.”
I bite my lip, thankful for the slight sting. Something about it grounds me. Reminds me of why I’m doing this. I sigh. “Do you think I’m making a mistake?” I whisper.
Austin raises an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
I wave a hand in front of me. I’m not going to cry. I’m already enough of a spectacle without breaking down in hysterics in the middle of the airport. “Do you think my leavingis a mistake?”
“No.” Austin shakes his head slowly. “I think you leaving is the best thing you could possibly do for yourself.”
