Please pick up. Please pick up. Please pick up.
“Hello?” Austin’s sleep-soaked voice comes over the line, and my entire body sags in relief.
What am I going to say? Why did I call him? It’s not like he can help me. “I lied,” I blurt out.
“What?” he asks, confusion thick in his voice. “What are you talking about?” A sob works its way out of my chest. “Luca? What’s going on?”
I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. “I lied. Something’s going on. Damien’s… I—I lied.” I choke on nothing, my throat convulsing as I fight down a retch. “Please come get me. I want to come home. I want to come home. Please, Austin. Please.”
It doesn’t hit me how much I mean those words until they come flying out of my mouth. I want to go home. I want to see Austin’s parents again. I want to see Austin. I want to be safe. I can’t be here anymore.
“Is Damien hurting you?” Austin asks, his tone sharp.
So much. All the time. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t lie anymore. He almost killed me. He was going to kill me. A whimper explodes from my throat, but I can’t get my voice to work.
“I don’t have your address, Luc. Text it to me.” Austin’s voice is slightly frantic but mostly calm, and it makes me feel calmer too. “I’m getting dressed, then I’m booking a flight.”
I still can’t get my voice to work, but I text him my address, fingers shaking, and tentative hope blooming in my chest. “There’s one that leaves in three hours. It’s the earliest one. It says it’s a two-hour flight. Will you be safe until then?”
“I don’t know,” I whisper, finally finding my voice. “I think so. He’ll… he’s going to work soon. Then I’ll be alone.” I swallow hard. “You’re coming?”
“Yes, I’m coming.” Relief burns through me. “I just booked the flight. Stay with me on the phone until I have to leave.”
I shake my head, which is a mistake. God, my fucking head hurts. “I can’t. He’ll be waking up soon. You’re really coming to get me?”
“Of course I’m coming.”
I need more. I need more than that. “You promise?” I whisper.
“I promise. In just a few hours, I’ll have you out of there, okay? Just hold on a few more hours. Will you tell me what happened?”
I don’t want to talk about it. I can’t. I can’t even think about it. “I can’t.”
“Okay. You don’t have to,” he says softly, his voice low and soothing.
If Damien wakes up and I’m not in bed, he’s going to lose his shit. He’s going to… He might… “I have to go. Don’t call me unless I call you first,” I choke out, not even bothering to wait for a response before I hang up and delete the call from my call log.
I somehow make it to my feet and back into the bedroom, then crawl into the bed. I don’t sleep, though. I don’t trust it.
I don’t trust Damien.
Instead, I stare at the ceiling in the dark, thinking while my head pounds and my eyes water.
I miss the old me. The me who was happy and carefree.
I miss sitting on the dock with Austin, our bare toes dipping in the water, fishing and laughing.
I miss waking up to the early morning call of mourning doves and the scent of honeysuckles.
I miss space.
Space to breathe.
Space for my brain to run wild with tales of imaginary lands where love is always soft and pure and hands are meant to holdpeople close and touch them gently.
I think that version of me exists somewhere. Hopefully. If that me doesn’t exist anymore, then what’s the point? No. I have to believe the person I used to be is still there somewhere.
I roll to my side, curling into a ball. It seems to be the most comfortable position. I should probably take something for my head, but I don’t even know if it would help.
