Any extra time I’ve had has been helping Audrey coordinate everything for our event. I know I haven’t been as hands-on as I’d like, and that’s completely my fault. My schedule is nuts, and any time I have with Audrey I obviously want to just enjoy spending time with her. But Audrey keeps a smile on her face, never once telling me to do a fair amount of work. Even Maverick and Goose are voicing their own frustration at feeling left out and alone.
That changes for my next trip, however.
Due to my pet sitter being on vacation, Audrey volunteered to come stay at my house while I’m gone for three days. We figure the cats would severely object to being moved to her townhouse, so it’s less painless to bring the pigs and dog to my house. I can tell Audrey is nervous, but I think it’ll be fine. It’s the first time I’ve given someone a key to my home, and I try to downplay it. But deep in the recesses of my heart, I know it means something more to me. It means forever.
The first day I’m in Miami, it’s nonstop chaos. After seeing the success a couple of Canadian companies have had featuring ads with famous Canadian NHL players, the NFL stepped up, trying to create the same thing. A handful of current quarterbacks are participating in a series of commercials. It’s all guys I know, but I’m not close with any of them. It’s a struggle tokeep my breathing slow, and my nonchalant mask in place, as we film take after take.
When I finally grab food to take to my hotel room, I’m so relieved to call Audrey. She answers in my kitchen, and I can’t help the huge smile that covers my face.
“Is that my shirt, Doc?” I tease. She’s wearing an old Oregon shirt of mine, and it’s never looked better. Hair in a messy bun, and not a speck of makeup on her perfect face, she’s an absolute vision.
Audrey giggles. “I hope you aren’t mad. It’s so soft, and I kind of wanted to wear something of yours while you’re gone.”
“Not mad at all. It looks so much better on you anyway.”
She sighs. “I feel like I’ve barely seen you this month, so this helps a little. Sleeping in your bed will be nice too.”
My grin fades. “It won’t get much better once training camp starts, Aud. I don’t want to be a downer, but you need to be prepared for that. I’d rather mentally prepare you now, than have you be really upset in a couple of months.”
“I don’t think there’s a way to mentally prepare myself for the NFL. Especially once anyone knows about me …” she trails off. We talked in depth about what we want to do in terms of a public announcement. Troy has always said athletes should be proactive, and control the narrative. But I know how vicious the public can be, and I don’t want that for Audrey. I’m petrified she’ll end this because of things people say while hiding behind a computer screen.
“Are you still on board with waiting until the fall?” I ask tentatively. We discussed attending our event together. Walking the red carpet and everything. When Audrey expressed hesitation, I immediately stopped the conversation. I’m not forcing her to announce it until she’s ready. Plus, our event is the week after training camp begins. I need to be focused on my job.
“If that’s what you feel is best, I’m fine with that,” Audrey answers, her eyes shrouded in sadness.
“I can tell you’re sad, but I can’t tell why. Is it just loneliness, or something else?”
She hesitates, chewing on her lip. That damn lip, telling me Audrey has something she’s afraid to say. This time, I’m pretty certain I know it before she speaks. “It’s hard not to feel like I’m being hidden for a reason, Jamie. I know we’ve talked about it, and I understand your reasons. But my own insecurities are rearing their ugly heads.”
Fuck. “I know. I’m struggling too.”
“Why?” she asks.
I close my eyes, taking a deep breath. “I’m afraid the public will be awful, and you’ll end things because you don’t want to deal with it. You won’t think I’m worth it.”
“Oh, Jamie,” she whispers. “I wish I could give you a big hug right now. I hate that you think I’d give you up that easily.”
I chuckle bitterly. “The media is ruthless, Doc. If it gets them a scoop, or an article goes viral, they don’t care who they hurt. I’m worried it’ll impact your job, and how your family will react. I don’t want you to realize I’m not worth the trouble.”
“I don’t care what my family thinks. There may be things I do to pacify them, like letting my mother pick out my dress for a family event, but they don’t get to have an opinion about who I date. My parents have incredibly poor taste in men, so I don’t trust their suggestions anyway. My sister married someone my parents approved of, and I’ve lost track of the number of affairs they’ve each had. It’s appalling.”
I screw up my face in distaste. “I don’t get why people cheat. Just end the relationship, for fuck’s sake.”
Audrey shrugs. “I’m pretty sure my sister and her husband have an agreement. Quiet affairs are fine, but they aren’t allowed to embarrass the other publicly. She’s comfortable with thelifestyle, and even though my parents have money she can fall back on, she knows if she leans on them in any way, they’ll begin controlling her life again. It’s easier to stay married, and keep my parents at arm’s length.”
“We both came from some messed up situations,” I comment, feeling slightly better as I scarf down my cheeseburger and salad. Normally, the month leading up to training camp, I’m very conscientious about the kinds of food I eat, as well as calorie intake. Frankly, I survived today without making a fool out of myself, so I deserve this cheeseburger in all of its greasy goodness.
“I like that we’re both still optimistic about finding someone, though. Well,” she giggles, “for the most part. We’ll just ignore the whole convo about the media, and focus on the good things. Goose made biscuits on me this morning before I left for work.”
“Seriously?” I ask, impressed. “He never does that with me. Maverick won’t leave me alone when I’m home, though, so maybe Goose figures you’re his human now.”
“Maverick is too intrigued with the guinea pig enclosure. He sits outside the door, meowing to be let inside. Flash chases him away, though.”
“She can really get going with those wheels.”
“Oh, no. This was without the wheelchair. She just took off, dragging her legs behind her, barking incessantly at Maverick.”
“No shit?” I laugh. “We certainly have an eclectic bunch of animals.”
