QB
You’re a better person than me. I’d want to be petty.
Me
A few months ago, pictures were posted at a society event. It was an incredibly bad angle of my mom. She was roasted online. I don’t know if I’ve ever been happier.
QB
I’d like to think my pettiness would involve me taking the photo, then sending it to the news source for publication. THAT would be perfectly petty.
Me
If a situation arises where I need to be petty, I’ll definitely come to you.
QB
I’m great with ideas. But actions? Nope.
Me
What do you mean?
QB
I have to be perfect. Set a good example for the younger guys on the team. Be a leader. A role model. Have to say all the right things and have no weaknesses, because the press can smell it. They’ll pounce, and they take no prisoners.
Me
That sounds awful. I’m so sorry you have to go through that, Jamie.
QB
I’ve been a quarterback for twenty years. It’s become second nature, unfortunately. It’s fine. Just another mask I put on.
Me
I hate that. You should have the opportunity to be YOU, and everyone should accept that.
QB
Thanks. I appreciate that.
Me
Can I ask you a personal question?
QB
Sure.
Me
Do you wear a mask when you’re talking to me?
QB
Yes, because puking in your house was the best mask I have in my arsenal.
