“Why did he go down before the rest of us?” I whisper, my voice cracking. My mind scrambles for lies, for hope, anything but the truth, as it is too painful.
“He was the only one to sense it. That’s why the beast attacked him—so we’d never be warned. The beast was beneath us, in the ground, and pierced his foot with so much venom… He didn’t stand a chance.” His tone is too soft. “Later, when it snatched you, it sucked all of his marrow. Even healing couldn’t bring back what it stole. There’s no undoing it.”
My stomach turns. Marrowsuckers are creatures of legend. Spider-like monsters that trap you in your worst nightmares, forcing you to relive it over and over while draining your body to store for winter. The nightmare does not end until there is nothing left to give. Until death embraces you.
“I’m so sorry.” He does not say anything else.
Panic claws at me. I try to rewind, replay every moment, but then it hits. “You ran! You left us!” Rage and betrayal burn through me.
“I went for help. The Forest Witch freed you.” His voice is soft, too soft.
“Nulok. How? How can he be dead?” My chest tightens. Breath comes in short, shallow bursts.
“I’m sorry, Seleste.”
“I cannot lose him. He must live!” My voice cracks. Not him. Not him. He does not deserve this. “Not him…” My voice breaks. I need to go to Jestin.
Aidon scoops me to his knees, and though I struggle, he lifts my chin. “Can you be brave for him?”
I understand what he means. He needs me like I needed him after what happened. “I can. I will.”
Aidon leads me out of the cave to a small clearing at the edge of the Forest Heart. My companions sit in a circle, their faces tense and quiet, and it finally hits me. My friend lies on the ground, pale as a corpse… because he is one.
The tremble threatens to overwhelm my body, but I hold it in, watching Jestin on his side, fat tears streaking down his cheeks.
My poor love. My face gets wet with my own tears, but I refuse to blink or breathe.
I take a step. Another. And another. Each one feels heavier than the last, as if the weight of the world presses down on me. Aidon anchors me through every impossible step with a firm, loving grip.
Nulok’s gone.
Then something snaps. My legs give way to the urgency inside me, and I break into a run. My feet pound the forest floor, each step driven by panic and heartbreak, until I reach Jestin.
He catches me in a fierce, almost desperate embrace, his arms pressing me against his chest.
“He’s gone. I shouldn’t have taken him with me,” he chokes out, burying his face in my neck, his body trembling against mine.
I wrap my arms around him, holding him as if I could absorb his pain into myself.
“I know,” I whisper, my voice breaking. “It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault.”
He shakes slightly, muffled sobs vibrating through his chest into mine. I press my cheek against his hair, inhaling, letting the warmth of his body and the sound of his ragged breathing anchor me.
“I should have…” he starts again, but I cut him off gently.
“No. Stop blaming yourself,” I murmur, cupping his jaw, forcing him to meet my eyes. “We both loved him. We both losthim. And right now, we need to make sure that he gets safe to his mate.”
He clings tighter, as if I might vanish, and I let the tears stream freely down my face, feeling the weight of our grief, shared and heavy, but no longer something we bear alone.
Our friend is lying beside us.
I don’t know how long we stay there, until Riven’s soft voice breaks through the silence. “Bane is ready.”
“No…” Jestin cries and the sound with haunt me for eternity.
I search his face. “He needs to be with Samira,” I say, my voice cracking.
But he understands.
