Perv.
Me or you?
“Fine,” Jestin spats, bringing my attention to the present. His eyes are so full of venom that I flinch.
The tension dissolves as his shoulders drop and he starts striding in the direction of Santorili, yet he turns, clearly feeling the conversation isn’t finished. I brace myself.
“You know he was part of the argument, too?”
I fix him with a glare, but it’s Aidon who replies. “She isn’t stupid. I smartly stepped aside when I heard that she was coming back.” He points at his head with a lopsided grin and knocks lightly on his forehead. “Special connection.”
I punch him before Jestin decides to come back and do it himself. Aidon takes it without wincing, shielding or commenting.
Good male.
I glance at Jestin. “He always tells me the truth about what he thinks about me.”
Jestin smacks his lips as if he has something to say, but shakes his head, clearly deciding against it, and gives me his back, in an insulting kind of way.
When he doesn’t turn around again, something tightens in my chest, but I ignore it and scurry to my bedroll, fed up with the senseless bickering.
“Too much credit,” Riven mutters under his nose.
The General’s face shows the same storm that I saw in Jestin’s.
What is wrong with them today?
Chapter 14
After that cartload of shit, I bury myself in the campfire, letting the crackle of the logs pull me under. I try to erect a wall between my conscious thoughts and the churning storm of emotions beneath, but my mind drifts anyway, tracing paths I’ve walked far too often over the last two years. Paths I hoped I’d never have to walk again.
Fae cannot die of natural causes, yet when they grow weary of life, they may spend a night in Gorok’s temple. If his judgement is favourable, God grants them entrance to his gardens—a peace I longed for, prayed for, begged for.
I spent weeks in that temple. Nights bled into one another. Hope flickered, faltered, and died. And in the end, I was rejected.
Probably because I owe it to my family. After I ran. After I stole the throne and threw it away.
I constantly fight the need to lie down and let the world run without me. I hate that even a tiny decision has to be a conscious battle between my wants and needs. Even more so, because they begin to blur, confusing the fuck out of me. And with Rhodria simmering with unrest; every indecision could cost lives.
I don’t want to admit to myself that I’ve always wanted to rule. Because I don’t deserve it.Not after all that’s happened. All I’ve done.
At least the brooding males have left me alone. Even ever-probing Aidon stays away from my thoughts. Or at least he resists commenting on them.
Yet honestly, I don’t know who broods: me or them.
Bane and Nulok are making supper; no one talks more than necessary. At least, if you don’t count the meaningful glances they exchange. Aidon’s probably opened a private channel for them to gossip about me
“Seleste?” Bane’s voice pulls me from my thoughts.
“Designated mediator?” I ask dryly.
“Hardly. Care for a plate?” Bane offers me some soup. The earthy aroma of mushrooms curls into my senses, making my stomach growl. I take the bowl and scoop a spoonful immediately, letting the rich, savoury flavour coat my tongue.
I look him up. His brow rises with silent questions.
Fine, let’s see what you’ve got.
I nod and he lowers himself onto my bedroll.
