How can I have no control over that broken body?
I call to my cursed power, in the last attempt to save something, but it’s unreachable, lost beyond a canyon I cannot cross.
Do I even still have the power? A growl cuts through. Aidon’s. My mind recognises him, even now.
PLEASE,I scream within.
A male pulls me to him. Jestin. His arms try to anchor me, but nothing helps now. Even touch is useless.
I’m done. I only want to rest.
You will fight,Aidon bellows in my head.
I need a blade, a poison,anything.But when nothing comes to my aid, when this torment continues, I scream, over and over.
And over. And over.
Raw, hoarse cries. At least till my voice gives up as well. Panic seizes me, crawling up my spine. For a second, my heart stops, then a gasping breath yanks me back.
PLEASE.
I’ve endured so much, but this hollow agony? It’s too much. I’d relive the throne room moment dozens of times just to make it stop.
To get some reprieve…
“Sels, please,” Jestin whispers, holding what’s left of me. Not much.
I am dying. The realisation soothes me like a balm. I’m dying. Finally. The end I’ve begged for.
Gorok will deal with me now.
Please… let it come…
No, you’re fucking not. You will fight. You won’t surrender just because it got hard. You will not leave me!Aidon roars out loud and in my mind. His voice echoes.
But I stay numb.
His emotions crash into me: fury, despair, terror, love.
“Sels, you need to sweat it out. That’s how drugs work. It will pass,” Jestin says.
I should have born an heir. Why didn’t my mother love me? Why didn’t Trisha? I just wanted to be loved. To feel safe. Why can’t I have another chance? Everyone is better off without me. Trisha should have been an only child.
It’s coming. I feel it. Like I feel all my subjects. Even Gorok is watching now, ready to receive his prodigal daughter.
Another growl. A door slams. Footsteps.
“We are at war,” someone says.
Gorok is shaking his head.
I need to say goodbye. I need to apologise. They all need to hear it.
“Maybe we should give her some?” A voice breaks through.
The hunger explodes inside me.
YES! YES! YES! It writhes, wild and ravenous.
