“I got your address from Kendall. She called Klara and made her swear to not tell you what I was doing. Surprise. I was hasty in Aruba and left to avoid hurting. Well, I left to avoid having hard conversations. The pain would be too much.” Admitting this is hard for me. I fear complete destruction, and I’m not sure I can rise again from such pain.
“Flying to Colorado was a brave decision, but I’m so glad I came to you.”
“Wait, how did you get my address?” I ask.
He laughs and rubs his chin. “I don’t think I’m supposed to say, but…Kendall, and she might have insisted I get here right away. But she didn’t tell me why.”
Faith shakes her head and says, “Kendall. Yep, that makes sense. Wait, so she knew you were here?”
“She found out, like, an hour ago. I wouldn’t hold it against her.”
“I won’t. She always has good intentions. So, where are you staying?”
“I have a short-term rental on Mirror Lake.”
“Jude! You’re staying on the lake.”
He pulls me closer. “Yes, sweetheart.Ourlake. Then, once my house sells, I want to build a house on the lake.” I’m practically on his lap, so I decide to slide all the way on. Unable to resist being as close to him as possible, I straddle him, wrap my arms around his neck, and move ever so slowly to nip at his bottom lip. His firm hands grab my hips, and he kisses me. With his tongue sliding over my lips, he coaxes me to open. I oblige. A trill shoots through my body as heat builds between my legs. The longer we kiss, the harder he feels between my legs. I grind my hips to ease my aching clit.
Breaking away, I say, “What about your business?” But talking doesn’t stop me from moving my hips, and I whimper in his ear.
He tilts his head to the side and slides his fingers down a strand of my hair and says, “You keep doing that and we won’t be talking anymore.”
I ease up because I want to finish talking to him. “Okay,” I say. There’ll be time for this later.
“You don’t need to worry. But, to settle your mind, Boston is a hub for a lot of my business. I also have some business alliances there, too. In the past, work took me away from home. I used to consider myself a nomad with a home base in Colorado. The conversation we started got me thinking; I want to travel less. Unless you want to come with me on a trip.”
“But you loved all the travel…you said it yourself.”
“Faith, I do love to travel, but it gets lonely. Here, I’m making this my home again, putting down roots. At any point, I cantravel. Right now, I’m choosing not to. I’ve already met with my team, and they are taking over some of the photoshoots I have on the docket. I reduced my calendar for the next couple of months so I can focus on us.”
“Us?”
“I came across the country to sit here with you and tell you I want this—you and me. I’m quite literally upending my life for a chance with you and spending more time with you to see where this goes. I know there’s a lot to discuss and work through, but I’m here to figure it out.”
Staying on him, I need to be close. He walked away from his house in Colorado to be here with me. When he said he’d move, I thought he was just saying what I wanted to hear. But he actually did it—and in record time. It warms my heart. We might have a shot at this. There’s still one more hurdle, though—a big one. We need to discuss kids. With that, my heart drops to my stomach and I slump down.
Again, Jude takes his fingers and tips my chin up to meet his eyes. He says, “I love you, no matter what happens. You are worth it. Please, give me a second chance, give us a chance at a future together.”
I breathe out and say, “I want that, too. There’s an elephant in the room that we need to discuss—having kids.” Not knowing if I can finish without crying, I look out the window. “It’s important.”
“It is. I agree. And I want to be completely honest with you. Will you hear me out?”
Looking back at him, I say, “Yes.”
“Yes, I want kids, but I want you to know that when I say we will figure it out, I mean it. Until you asked, I never even imagined myself having children because I never had someone to share my life with. I thought I’d be a bachelor forever.”
I stare at him as unease spreads through me. I want kids, too, but I don’t know if I can get pregnant. Trauma burrows itself inside, and it won’t let you go, no matter how much work you put in. It’s still there. I’m trying like hell to keep an open mind as he speaks.
He continues with so much love in his voice. “I’d want to try. I don’t want to close the door completely. If we can’t have children naturally, there are so many options. It’s a nonissue for me. But what I won’t do is push you into doing anything you don’t want to.”
This puts a huge smile on my face, and my chest loosens. He captivates me as he shares his thoughts on kids. His voice is shaky and loving.
“I also want kids, Jude. And I absolutely want to try. It’s just…there was this client a few years ago…” Needing to collect myself with a deep breath to continue, I say, “Her husband left her after trying to have a baby for three years. She never told him she had an abortion, and that’s why maybe she couldn’t get pregnant. It stuck with me. I fear I’m damaged goods.”
Jude wipes my tears and holds my face. “You’re not damaged goods,” he says. “No matter what happens, you are a beautiful, capable, and loving woman. And I will give you everything you want.”
I dip down, and my lips meet his. He claims my mouth with his kiss, fusing us together. My entire body melts into his. Drawing back slightly to rest my head on his shoulder, I wrap my arms around him. He is massaging my back with his strong hands, and my tears dry up. My heart is full with him here confessing his love, his deepest, most personal thoughts, and holding me like he never wants to let me go.
