I crash my lips against hers with urgency. The heat from our bodies is intense, like I’m standing too close to a roaring fire. Our teeth and tongues collide in a dance, driven by a deep, desperate need to get even closer.
I don’t want to ever let her go—ever again.
FORTY-THREE
FAITH
With two fingers, Jude gently tilts my chin upward, saying, “I’m here now.”
Yes, he is. In the flesh, not my imagination, he stands inches away.
Did I conjure you with my thoughts?
“How are you here?” I ask, stumbling over my words. My heart rate is out of control. I’m still in awe that he is in my kitchen, holding me, kissing me.
As he slides his hands to my hips, he turns me toward the living room. His body heat radiates, and my nose tickles with the scent of fresh rain—the scent ofhim. With one hand on my hip, he guides me to the living room. “Let’s take a seat.”
Is everything alright? His tone suggests this might be an intense discussion. Maybe he’s just visiting his sister and niece, but I can’t shake the hope that he’s here to see me. A part of me wonders, what if I weren’t here? What if I had been on a plane to Colorado while he stood at my door? The thought is both unsettling and strangely comforting.
I patiently wait as both longing and hope flash in his eyes. He grabs my hands in his. The prickling in my hands that travels all the way up my arms heats my body once again.
“I’m honestly not sure where to start, so here it goes. When we were together in Aruba, it was short…too short. From the minute you slammed into me in the lobby, I knew there was a reason our paths crossed. At the time, I wasn’t sure why. When we spent more time together, it confirmed my suspicions. We were given time—time to talk about all the feelings that have been haunting us for the last twelve years.” He continues to hold my hands and then raises them to his mouth and presses kisses along my knuckles. “You have the missing piece of my heart that I didn’t know I was searching for all these years.”
My mind catches up to what he said. His words hit me as I remember those days in Aruba that we shared. The time we spent together healed something in my heart, but when I was leaving the resort, it felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. With him here with me now, it’s like he’s holding me in a way that I’ve never been held before.
“From the moment you walked through my door, I felt an undeniable pull toward you. My entire being lights up when you’re close to me. Our time in Aruba changed everything. The sharing of our hearts, our hurts, ourselves. It was all to lead us to this moment.”
“I agree, and I felt like our souls intertwined when we were vulnerable. What we went through all those years ago left us with deep wounds that followed us.” I pause. “I love you, Jude.” And with a swift movement, he lunges at me. I fall backward onto the couch as he lies on me, kissing me like it’s the last time. My tongue nudges his lips open, and we move our mouths to a rhythm that is all ours. His wet mouth on mine soaks my panties, and I’m not sure we will make it through this conversation.
He slows his mouth and hesitantly lifts it a few inches from my face and says, “I love you, too. Holding you in my arms in Aruba sealed it for me. I can’t live without you. Since I got ataste of having you in my arms and on my chest while you sleep, listening to you breathe, it’s been hard to sleep alone. You are everything, Faith. And that’s why I’m here. I need to explain a few things that we didn’t have time to finish talking about.” He lifts himself up. Grabbing my hand in one swift motion, he sits us both back up on the couch.
“Your feelings matter, and at any point, please interrupt me if you need to say something, anything.” He runs his fingers through his hair as it flops to the side. “I listened when you said you were scared and worried about me living across the country, the possibility of not being able to have children, and what if I leave again? These are all valid fears. And I’m here to talk them through. If you don’t mind me explaining myself first, is that okay?”
Reassuring him, I place my hand on his knee. Not knowing where he is going with this, I still urge him to continue.
“I told you I want kids and that we would figure it out. I wasn’t able to circle back to it that night as we ended up down the rabbit hole talking about how I was living in Colorado.”
I interrupt, “And you’re here?”
“Yes, I’m here for you, Faith. You are my everything. You had the right to question me about why I hadn’t moved.”
“It made me question your intentions of ever leaving Colorado.” My eyes go to my hands, wondering if he is going to move back home.
He touches my chin and tips it upward. Our eyes meet. “And because of you, I decided…” He looks deep into my eyes and brushes my face. “I’m selling my Colorado house and moving home. Actually, I left Aruba Saturday night and made all the arrangements to have my stuff moved to a storage unit, and my buddy, who is a realtor, will list it later this week once everything is ready.”
“What?” I’m stunned at this confession, yet my heart feels warm from what he said.
He chuckles and says, “I know, I know. It seems fast, but I know it’s the right decision. I want to see if we can work through all of this, move forward, and be together.”
I was heading to Colorado with the purpose of having this very conversation with him. For the past few days, I had been rehearsing the words I wanted to say to him. Then he shows up and shares this with me.
“When are you moving back?” I ask him with a smirk on my face, ready to jump out of my skin as I buzz with excitement.
“Sweetheart, I’m here for good. There’s no reason for me to go back to Colorado…unless you want to visit.”
I can’t contain myself anymore. I hug him as tight as I can and say, “You’re not kidding. You’re really here for good?”
“Yes, I’m here.” As he hugs me back even tighter, he says, “I still can’t believe you were going to fly to Colorado. How did you even know my address?”
