I watch Klara. Eyes wide, mouth open—she wants to interrupt, but doesn’t. She intensely listens. As I finish, she’s speechless. I wait patiently for someone to speak.
“Ok, so you’re telling me…you spent a whole day with Faith and then you asked her to meet you tonight?” Klara seems to be collecting her thoughts.
I clear my throat. “I’m not sure what possessed me. It just slipped out.”
“Jude, what were you thinking?” Klara asks me point-blank, worry in her eyes.
“I got caught up in the moment. I held back talking about what happened over a decade ago, but I want to tell her how I feel—how I felt back then.”
“What do you truly want from sharing and putting yourself out there?” she asks, her voice gentle as she walks over and places a comforting hand on my shoulder.
I've messed up with her. There were so many times I didn't go after her. So many moments I thought about her, wanted her, and then I decided to distract myself. Eventually, I focused on photography instead. I threw myself into becoming the top wedding photographer. What do I have to show for that? Plenty of money. And no one to share it with. It feels lonely.
The way my heart reacted to Faith, I’m seriously contemplating asking her to give us a shot. A wave of dread washes over me, tightening my throat. What if she wants nothing to do with me after all this? And even if she did, how could it work? The distance is daunting—we live in two different places, thousands of miles apart. This could be my chance to move closer to my family and, more importantly, closer to her. I’d leave Colorado behind in a heartbeat if it meant even a slight chance of being with her again. But then it hits me. My career as a wedding photographer has me flying to romantic destinations across the globe. My breathing becomes shallow and quick as my mind races with the logistics that need to align for us to make it work.
“I’m hoping she will give me a chance to make things right with her,” I say, confident it will fall into place if we both want it.
“Bold Jude, very bold,” Max says as he listens.
“Show her who you are,” Klara says as she continues to rub my shoulder. “You’re an amazing guy who has so much to offer.”
Those words ring true. I wasn’t there for her, and the guilt and regret weigh on me like a boulder. My shoulders slump as I feel the defeat in my body.
Pull it together, dude! You aren’t getting her back with that kind of attitude.
I straighten up. “You’re right! She’s my person, and I’m not giving up this time.”
Although I dated here and there, I never truly connected with any woman like I do with Faith. I feel like this is my one opportunity to prove myself to her. When I apologize, I know it won’t fix everything, but it’s a step in the right direction.
Max pipes up, “Hey man, let’s go grab a drink.”
Klara gives him a stern look. “My advice is not good enough, dear?”
“No, babe. We need some guy time.” Max gives her a kiss on the top of her head and says, “Your advice was perfect. Now he needs a guy’s point of view.”
“If you insist,” she says before kissing him passionately.
They are the cutest couple. I enjoy being around them. Friends for life. They never steer me in the wrong direction. I like surrounding myself with people who care about one another and treat their significant other with love and compassion.
Max and I amble over to the tiki bar. As we get closer, the thatched roof comes into view. There are plenty of seats at the bar, and we hop on a couple of stools. The smell of the various fruits mingles with the salty ocean breeze, enticing me to order one of those pineapple drinks. I glance at my watch. It’s only 5:30 p.m., which is plenty of time before meeting Faith.
Max takes one look at me and says, “Man, you’ve got this one chance. Are you ready to bare your heart to her? Not knowing how she will react.”
He’s a straight shooter, and that’s why we are friends. No sugar coating it. He comes right out with it, causing me to think. I’m opening myself up; it feels like the only way to make things right with her and my soul. Everything gets put out there tonight and let the chips fall where they may. I’m not turning back on this, on her. When I think about her, my body zings with pleasure and purpose. She’s mine…I want her to be mine.
“I’m going to apologize and tell her everything that happened from the minute I left for Utah until now. She deserves to know, and she may walk away. But I’m hoping she will see my sincerity and continue to listen. Then maybe she will share what happened after I left.”
“You’ve always been a nice guy, ever since I met you. You really fucked up with her, but you’ll never know unless you go for it.”
Does she ever think about me? Thoughts of her come more often than I’d like, and there are times it’s hard to not think about her. Now, being on the resort, feels like torture. Faith is everywhere. When I see her or think about her, my entire body buzzes. The vision of a future together threatens my thoughts. There’s only a slim chance of that happening, but I’m holding onto it. This is our moment, and I need to seize it.
I shake out my arms and shoulders, loosening up. “To avoid rambling, I need to relax before seeing her. I want to be clear, so there’s no misunderstanding.”
“You good, buddy?” Max eyes me with concern.
“I will be when I get through tonight.”
If I stay focused, then tonight’s conversation will help me forge a way back to her. Into her heart, her mind, and her soul. I know we belong together. If I show her the real me, maybe she will consider giving us a second chance. With any luck, it’ll be a possibility.
