While I’m snorkeling, it will be the perfect time to sit with my feelings. I’ll be able to better identify what’s really going on with me. These things will become clear once I’m able to get away alone and away from seeing him.
Lane squeezes my arm. “See you in a few hours. We’ll talk about it when you get back. And there’s still a couple days before we even need to really make a decision.”
“Have fun and remember to just relax and enjoy yourself! We’ll be here waiting for you,” Addison says, encouraging me with her smile.
The lobby is just around the corner from where we had breakfast. I walk over to grab transportation to the boat. The concierge directs me to the bus while we wait to leave. Within fifteen minutes, we’re on the road. It’s a quick ride to the pirate boat—and it’s much bigger than I had imagined.
Once I’m off the bus with my bag hanging off my shoulder, I see there’s another bus that arrived before ours. There must have been two buses taking people from the resort to the boat. The driver directs us down the dock. The view is beautiful. There’s a bunch of other boats and the water is crystal-clear. I can’t wait to see the marine life up close.
“Thank you.” I hand the driver a few dollars and make my way down the dock.
The line to get on the boat isn’t too long, and I wait patiently as I soak up the sun's heat. Oh! I need to apply sunscreen while I'm in line. Quickly, we move along, and I step onto the boat as a rush of excitement hits me.
“Welcome aboard,” one of the boat staff greets us as we make our way onto the boat.
As I make my way to the back of the boat to grab a seat, I take in my surroundings and notice the beautiful second tier of the boat, along with a spiral staircase. I glance around at the people who have arrived before me, and suddenly, I realize Jude is sitting a few rows back. I can see his profile, and this time, I recognize him immediately. Crap. I roll my eyes and giggle to myself. Of course. The universe is hilarious. My stomach drops, and it’s not from the boat rocking. It’s the fact that I was on this excursion to get away from him. I gingerly sit down in hopes he won't see me and face the opposite direction. I’m pretty sure he’s alone, too.
Once everyone is on the boat, the captain gets on the audio system to announce what to expect on our excursion. Out of the corner of my eye, I see movement. I turn slightly. Jude rose from his seat with a determined look, and my heart skips a beat as he weaves through the crowd, heading directly toward me. I silently plead with the universe not to let him sit in the empty seat beside me. My eyes fixate on the deck of the boat, and I’m hoping that avoiding eye contact might make him change course. Perhaps he’s just going to grab a drink from the bar.
Just breathe.
There’s nowhere to escape this situation. I was going to use my alone time to reflect on this situation. He isn’t supposed to be here. So many thoughts are swarming inside my brain, and Ihave so much I want to say—but there’s no way in hell I’m going to actually say any of it.
The lump in my throat grows as I see a pair of sandals close to mine—yep, it’s him. If I keep my head down, maybe he’ll just walk away?
No such luck. I look up and his handsome face is staring back at me. I melt into a puddle with that look he gives me…hot and devious.
Damn.
FOURTEEN
JUDE
“Is this seat taken?”
She looks at me, and with a faltering smile, she says, “No… not that I'm aware of.”
Dude, what were you thinking?
I imagined this moment going a lot better in my head about five minutes ago. It might have been the wrong move. It’s like every time I see her, she draws me closer. When I look at her, I remember how much I love her—lovedher. She does it for me, and I’m hoping there’s still something there between us. I know one thing for certain—I need time to pull her aside and talk to her. As I sit here, I am feeling really uncomfortable that I took the chance to sit with her. I’m here now, though. I run my fingers through my hair and clear my throat.
“Where are your friends?” I ask, trying to strike up conversation.
I need to keep it light. I can’t just spill out everything that’s bottled up inside of me. Not now. Maybe one day, but that day isn't today. What I would give to not feel all this guilt and regret. I scratch my face, waiting for her response. It feels like she doesn’t answer for a few minutes, but in reality, the pause is only a few seconds.
“This was the one excursion they weren’t interested in going on. The pirate ship sucked me in, and I was looking forward to seeing the fish, coral, and other marine life while out here. The island lunch looked right up my alley too,” she says, a little laugh escaping her mouth. “Are you here alone?”
“My friends decided to go horseback riding. There was no way in hell I was getting on a horse. Remember that time when we went to the Dude Ranch for our class trip?” I shake my head as I think about it, and a laugh escapes me.
“Oh my…I actually haven’t thought about that trip in a long time. Yeah, I remember you totally fell off that crazy horse. It was insane. Really! The horse was possessed.” I watch as she crinkles up her eyes and thinks about the time, laughing about it. She’s beautiful.
“My ass hurt for weeks after being thrown, and that huge bruise. Sitting was nearly impossible. I had to sit sideways or lie down.” We both grimace at the thought.
“The Dude Ranch! Whose idea was that anyway? It was awful. We should have gone to the beach.” I’m racking my brain as I think about how we chose that class trip.
She shrugs. “The class voted, and it was the top choice. At least there was a pool. It was a scorcher.”
Feeling the vibe between us has me smiling. I wonder if she feels it, too—sparks are surrounding us. It’s a start. Being close to her has me wanting to wrap my arms around her as my heart thumps loudly in my chest.
