“Is it because Idon’twax my underarms when I don’t have to go anywhere?”
“NO.”
“I know. It’s because I don’t wear enough flannel.”
“If you’re trying to annoy the shit out of me, you can stop now, because it worked.”
I decided to let him off the hook, though I admit it was tempting to keep going. “Fine. Since you’re the authentic Colorado expert, what else did you have in mind?”
“Well ...” Noah scanned the surrounding wilderness, his eyes looking everywhere except at me. Lighting up, he crouched beside a cluster of yellow flowers that looked like miniature sunbursts. “This is Arnica Montana. Native healers used it for centuries before it became commercialized.”
“So to highlight the beauty of the state of Colorado, you want me to feature a flower named after the state of Montana?”
Noah ignored my brilliant observation, crouching down beside a clump of purple petals. “This is wild bergamot. The bees love it.” His voice was less gruff, moreanimated. Almost like he was … human. “The entire ecosystem depends on these native species.” He gestured at various plants with the enthusiasm of a little boy showing off his favorite toys. “This yarrow here can …”
“Wait, did you say yarrow? As in the stuff they put in face creams?”
“Face creams?”
“This is perfect.” I dropped into a crouch beside him, the soreness in my legs temporarily forgotten. “Clean beauty is huge right now.” I started framing shots of the delicate white flowers, their lacy patterns forming perfect geometric clusters. “I love the whole ancient wisdom meets modern beauty angle. That’s good.” I waggled my finger at him. “You’re good.”
Noah’s eyebrows drew together like storm clouds. “These aren’t ingredients for beauty products. They’re vital parts of a complex ecosystem.”
“Right, right, of course. Vital. Ecosystem. Got it.” I took a selfie with the yarrow, giving my followers a thumbs up and a wink.
Noah sighed loudly, then started back up the trail. I finished another selfie, then scurried to catch up.
We hiked some more; the trail getting steeper and the elevation gain taking its toll. It wasn’t long before my lungs were on fire. My feet were on fire. My glutes were on fire.Maybe Noah would rub them for me.Great, now my libido was on fire too.
“Remind me …” I gasped, struggling to catch up. “Remind me to restart my Pilates membership when I get back home to Los Angeles.”
Noah glanced back. “Pilates?” It was the first word he’d said to me since the yarrow incident.
“Yeah, I know.”
“I thought exercise wasn’t really your thing.”
“It isn’t. Really, any physical activity whatsoever. My thing is watching reality television on my couch and eating pistachio ice cream.”
“Sounds about right.” Noah paused, allowing me to catch up. “How’dyouend up in a Pilates class?”
“It was a birthday gift from my boyfriend.” I stopped, hands on my knees, most bodily functions failing. “Should’ve …huff… kept it …puff… up.”
“Your boyfriend gave you Pilates classes for your birthday?”
“Real thoughtful, right?” I wiped sweat from my forehead. “Pretty sure he just wanted me to lose weight.”
“Your boyfriend sounds like an ass.”
“Oh, he is totally. Called me ‘fluffy’ once. Complained when I ordered dessert. Said my food posts were enabling unhealthy habits.”
Noah’s face was a blank slate. I wondered what was going on behind those bright blue eyes. “No wonder you didn’t bring him along on your little mountain adventure.”
“Hard to bring someone who’s too busy boning their new girlfriend.” I tried to laugh, but it came out more like a wheeze.
“New girlfriend? As in, not you?”
“Not me, no. Definitely not me.”
