“If my parents had made me go on a hike when I was a kid, I would have called child services.”
He started moving again.
“Can you hold on a second? I need to get some establishing shots for my posts.” Actually, it was an excuse to take a break before I keeled over from a heart attack.
I leaned my trekking poles against a tree and pulled out myphone, squinting at the screen in the darkness. “Just need to adjust my settings real quick for dark mode.”
“We’re running out of time.” Noah’s voice carried an edge of impatience I was becoming all too familiar with.
“What time is it?”
“Time to hike.”
“This’ll only take a minute.” I switched to pro mode, tweaking the ISO and shutter speed. “Can’t post grainy content. My followers expect quality.”
“Your followers can wait.”
I ignored him, checking my phone for a signal. Service had been coming and going all morning, depending on how many mountains were between me and civilization. I had a few bars at the moment, so decided to live stream.
“Hey everyone!” I spoke in my signature upbeat tone. “Coming to you live from ...” I hit pause. “Where are we exactly?”
“Big Tree Trail.” Noah crossed his arms.
“A little on the nose, don’t you think?”
“I guess the early settlers who first traversed the Rocky Mountains in covered wagons were too busy worrying about starving to death and cholera to come up with a clever name for you to hashtag.”
“Like you even know what a hashtag is.”
“I heard Diego say it once.”
The sarcasm was so thick I could have used it as trail mix. But as I looked around at the towering pines, their names suddenly seemed perfectly logical. Sometimes the obvious choice was obvious because it was right.
“Fair point,” I admitted, lowering my phone. “Though I bet they would’ve been influencer gold. #CoveredWagonLife #PioneerVibes #WestwardBoundBabe.”
Noah stared at me as if I’d started speaking in Cantonese. “Do you ever turn it off?”
“Turn what off?”
“The performance. The constant need to translate everything into content.”
I thought a moment, tapping on my chin. “Um … no.” I angled my phone to catch the starlit sky behind me, then hit record again. “It’s dawn patrol time in Colorado! We’re about to experience a gorgeous sunrise from ...” I glanced at Noah. “How high up are we going?”
He just stared at me.
“Anyway, we’re going up! Way up! And I’ve got the amazing Noah Barrett as my guide.” I turned the camera toward him.
Noah showed several thousand livestream viewers his extended middle finger.
“He’s a little camera shy.” I quickly switched back to selfie mode. “But look at this amazing gear he got me!” I struck a pose, making sure to capture my new hiking outfit. “Who says outdoor adventure can’t be both functional and stylish?”
I crouched down for a better angle of my face, looking up at the star-filled sky when Yeti photobombed my shot, her tongue streaking across my cheek. She pressed in cheek to cheek with me until her snout filled the entire viewing angle.
“At least someone knows how to work a camera.” I scratched behind her ears. “Unlike her grumpy human.” I flashed the camera back to Noah quickly, which drew a steady stream of grumpy face emojis from my followers. “Folks, this is my new friend Yeti, part dog, part wolf, all badass. Say hi to all your fans, Yeti.” She barked, and the heart emojis started rolling in.
“You too, Yeti?” said a grumpy voice offscreen.
Yeti barked, then licked my cheek again.