Maya cleared her throat, stepping to the front. “There are laws protecting endangered species habitat,” she said, signaling Parker to bring a list of rules and regulations on screen. “The Endangered Species Act specifically prohibits any action that results in the ‘taking’ of a protected species, which includes significant habitat modification.”
She met each of our eyes in turn. “If we can prove this is an active lek for the Gunnison sage grouse, we can trigger a mandatory environmental impact assessment before any development can continue.”
“Which would delay Victoria’s plans by months, if not years,” Noah added.
“But laws and regulations aren’t enough,” said Maya. “Victoria has an army of corporate lawyers who specialize in finding loopholes. They’ll argue the lek is abandoned, or that their development won’t significantly impact the habitat.”
Noah stopped pacing directly in front of my chair. I fought the urge to reach out for him. “That’s why we need the community behind us,” he said. “We need to make this so public, so visible, that it would be a PR nightmare for LuxeLife to harm one feather on this bird’s head.”
“He’s right,” said Maya. “We need visibility, public pressure, and a whole lot of noise.”
“But we only have a few days,” said Jenn. “And how much noise can the few of us here even make?”
I stood up, ignoring the protest from my battered body. Noah stayed close, probably worried he’d have to catch me if I fell.
“That,” I said. “Is where I come in.”
“Let me guess.” Diego pointed at the screen. “You’re going to make it into a TikTok dance.”
“I can do better than a TikTok dance.”
“Better how?”
I looked over at Noah, and he gave me a little nod. “Grouseapalooza,” I announced.
A lot of blank faces stared back at me.
“Grouse-a-pa-what-za?” Diego frowned.
“Grouseapalooza,” I repeated. “A festival. A celebration. A community event centered around saving our feathered friend. We’ll create specific hashtags, #SaveTheGrouseDance and #GrouseapaloozaColorado. I’ll reach out to my network of influencers, get them to amplify. We can livestream the whole event.”
“You realize 99.9% of the population has never heard of the Gunnison Sage Grouse, right?” Jenn didn’t seem convinced.
“That’s the beauty of it. First rule of social media: people can’t care about what they don’t know about.” My influencer’s brain kicked into high gear. “We host a festival, just like the ones they hold downtown. Music, vendor booths, educational displays. We showcase the grouse in all its disco glory. And most importantly, we make it Instagram-worthy, TikTok-friendly, and hashtag-ready.”
My audience still looked dubious at best, except for Parker, whose eyes had taken on that calculating gleam he got when evaluating the viral potential of a concept.
“People care about things they feel connected to,” I explained, settling into my comfort zone. “Right now, this is just a weird bird doing a weird dance that nobody’s ever seen. But once people come to Grouseapalooza, once they learn about it, once they post about it and tag their friends, suddenly it’s their weird bird doing their weird dance.”
“And then they’ll care if Victoria tries to bulldoze its habitat,” Maya finished for me.
“Precisely.” I pointed at her like she’d just won the bonusround on a game show. “We create a movement around this bird, and suddenly LuxeLife isn’t just fighting some obscure environmental regulation, they’re fighting public opinion. And trust me, as someone who lives and dies by the court of public opinion, that’s a battle they don’t want to get into. Once people get to know this bird …”
“Gary,” Noah interrupted.
We all turned his way.
“Who’s Gary?” asked Diego.
“He is.” Noah pointed at the screen. “Gary the Grouse.”
“You gave the grouse a name?” Jenn looked like she was about to make an appointment for Noah to get his head examined.
“Nobody cares about a random bird. Everybody loves Gary.” Noah looked back at me and smiled. It seemed the stubborn mountain man had been paying more attention to me than I thought.
“Gary the Grouse,” Maya repeated. “I like it.”
“It’s kinda adorable,” said Brie.
