5:18am
My phone rang again.
Parents.
Decline.
Then came the doorbell. Once. Twice. The third time nearly made my head explode. LuxeLife must have sent a driver to take me to the airport, and they were early.
Walking bowlegged and cursing, I ambled into the living room where a mountain of colorful boxes were strewn about like the aftermath of a tornado. The latest Korean sheet masks spilled from a holographic box onto my kitchen table. A rainbow of nail polishes lined the countertop.
Dodging packages like they were landmines, I got close enough for the driver to hear me through the door. “I’m not ready yet! I just woke up!”
Ding Dong
“Holy hell,” I grumbled.
As far as mornings went, I’d had better. I set my feet in front of the locked door, fists planted on my silk-stringed hips. I took a deep breath, winding up to tell the driver exactly where he could go and what he could do with himself while I finished getting ready.
What happened next went in slow motion.
The lock clicked.
The knob TURNED.
THE DOOR SWUNG OPEN!
Leaving me face to face with a middle-aged Chinese American couple standing on the threshold.
My parents.
“Holy fuck!” At first, I wasn’t sure if I had said it out loud, or only in my head. By the look of horror on Mom’s face, I assumed it was out loud. Before the image of my half-naked body could imprint itself on Dad’s brain, I slammed the door in their faces.
“Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUUUUUUCK!”
5:23am
It was hard to decide which part of the past ten seconds had been most horrible.
The part where Mom and Dad saw me wearing a red crotchless G-string?
The part where I yelled ‘holy fuck’ at them?
Or the part where I slammed the door in their faces?
Glancing back toward my bedroom, I briefly considered jumping out the window and then fleeing the country. I was only ten stories up. Maybe I could aim my flailing body toward a trash-bag-packed dumpster.
Instead, I grabbed a semi-damp towel from my bathroom floor, wrapped it around my body, then tugged open the door.
My parents stood in the exact same place, with the exact same look of shock and awe glued to their faces.
“Sorry. I … ah …”
Mom’s eyebrow twitched. Dad’s mouth hung open.
“What are you doing here anyway?” I asked at last.
“Parker said you needed a ride to the airport,” said Mom.
