“I heard you. Just come in.”
“You’re going to let me confess, right?”
“We’re going to talk.”
“But shouldn’t we pray or something? I mean IneedConfession!”
She smiles gently as she ushers me along. “We’re going to go on the back porch and have a glass of wine.”
“Glass of wine?”
“Let’s appeal to all the spirits.”
Soon I’m sitting on the cushioned wicker couch in the screened back porch surrounded by potted plants. Abby’s beautiful, brightly colored handcrafted pots glow in the citronella candlelight. Chloe appears with two small glasses of chilled Pinot Noir and a plate of cheese, crackers, and grapes. She sets them on the coffee table and sits beside me. She brushes the pink-dyed streak of her thick, curly dark hair from her face.
“What happened, Lizzie?”
Through tears I tell her everything, blow by blow. I feel a little guilty—I mean, she has a squalling newborn. She doesn’tneed a middle-aged woman weeping on her back porch. But Chloe doesn’t seem to mind. She listens carefully, hands me a Kleenex box, and I wipe my nose and wail: “There was no excuse—we hadn’t even beendrin... king. I’m a wid-hoe!”
Chloe smiles kindly. “Lizzie...”
“Victoria wouldneverhave done this!”
“Victoria? I’m a little lost.”
“Never mind. I just did a very bad thing, and I’ll never forgive myself. What would Philip think?”
“He’d be laughing his ass off.”
“What?”
“Oh, I knew the man—he had the best sense of humor, and he’d think it’s hilarious that you almost kissed his best friend. Henry Lawton, you said? You know what—he did some work for a friend of mine. Nice guy. And he’scute.Philip wouldn’t be mad.”
“But we just put him to rest...”
“Breathe, my friend. Do you remember that meditation sabbatical I took in Tibet last year?”
“Yes.”
She leads me through a few breathing techniques she learned.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
Remarkably, it works. I cool down by the second. Even though I’m still convinced I did a bad thing, I’m feeling less panicky about it. Breaths are miracles.
Soon I’m calm enough to take a sip of the wine.
Chloe clasps my hands in hers. “Oh, Lizzie. This is a time to be kind to yourself.”
“But...”
“This is a time where you don’t feel guilty about almost kissing Philip’s friend. You do the easy yoga workout. Splurge on a pedicure. Take Heathcliff to a movie, or, better yet, on a trip!”
