“Oh, no worries.” I must have forgotten to turn the sound back on after Mirabel’s texts.
“I need some girl time. I’ve been struggling being around the guys for all these events—and then we have a publicity shoot up north soon. Everything feels so off. I mean, I hadno ideaHarry’s gay. Did you?”
“Not at all.”
“Well, apparently everyone knew but us. It explained so much! I wanted to support him, but my therapist says I still mourned the relationship I thought we had. Anyway, I rebounded and flew right back into Everett’s arms. But Everett eventually said it was just too weird acting as my lover on film and then dating me in real life—which I guess is fair. So now, the three of us pretend like everything’s fine, but you can’t just shut off your heart, right?”
“Right!” I affirm with false cheer, thinking of my own heart’s ups, downs, stumbles, and fuckups these past weeks. Bella doesn’t know about Philip yet. She’d care, but I don’t feel like looping her into my grief right now.
“I’m on my way to my workout. Would you like to join me?”
I hesitate. I jog and ride my bike. But given her body, I’msureBella’s idea of a workout is far different than my own. Then again, I’ve missed her and really want to get caught up.
“Sure! Let me go get changed.”
“Workout” was a misnomer for Bella’s private spin instructor’s torture session. Colin was like a British version of Paul Ryan, buff and handsome in a dry, anemic way, but coldhearted and fierce, willing to exhaust clients to death before slicing maternity care and school lunch budgets by late afternoon. Every time I thought it was over, and we would finally slow down, he’d yell, “Standing climb,now! Come on, no bloody slacking!” In the end, every single muscle in my body screamed in agony. I just wanted to collapse in a hot bath of Epson salts and eat a pint of ice cream. Irritatingly, the workout seemed to make Bella glow. The excess perspiration only brought out her beautiful dark eyes. She didn’t even stink. I guess some people are just born goddesses.
Afterward, we head to the luxury gym’s spa, where cool mists of lemongrass-scented sprays shoot out from the shower walls at our limbs. Then an assistant wraps us in ever-so-soft bamboo-viscose robes, and a masseuse gives us heavenly shoulder massages. Clearly, this isn’t a typical gym, and I try not to gawk when Tom Hardy in a towel steps out of the sauna room.
Soon, still in our robes, we lounge in heated, plushy chairs as we’re served kale smoothies that taste like what I imagine Mirabel’s azalea garden trimmings would. Bella takes a long sip, settles back, and asks about Philip.
I avoid eye contact, stirring my thick smoothie with the boba straw. “He passed away a couple months ago.”
She puts her hand over her mouth, setting the smoothie on a table. “That’s awful. Why didn’t you tell me earlier? I was going on and on about my own shit, and you... you’ve been dealing with this.”
I shrug.
“Oh, my god—how are you carrying on?”
I glance over, and her eyes are wet with tears.
“It’s kind of why I’m here. I just had to get away from it all.”
She’s quiet for a minute. “God, I loved him. When he visited the set, I didn’t get a chance to talk to him as much as the guys did. I think they went out to drinks.”
“They did.” I swallow the lump in my throat. I remember Philip beaming when he got back to the hotel room that evening. I’d been sitting up reading in bed. He collapsed beside me, unfastening the top buttons of his shirt as he adjusted his glasses and looked up at me.Whoa. If you ever told me one day I’d be on a film set and then doing shots with Everett Dane and Harry Waters, I’d call you crazy. This was an unbelievable day, Lizzie, and you made it happen. You are AMAZING.And then he’d leaned in, cupped my cheek, and kissed me.
“I lost my mom last year too. It’s all been a lot.”
“I can’t even imagine,” she says, sniffing and wiping her eyes.
We finish the smoothies in silence. As gross as the blended kale tastes, it distracts me.
“We should each get a tattoo,” she says suddenly, handing her empty glass to a nearby assistant.
“Huh?”
“I always get a tattoo when I’m going through a transition or a change. See!”
She points down to her calf, where she has the most beautiful ivy wrap. “I got this just after filming the movie. Everett and Harry have matching ones on their biceps. They just cover it up with makeup on the set. You’ve been through so much—I’m here for you. Let’s do something permanent to remember our time together.”
“I don’t know...” I’m pretty sure Victorian convicts and sailors sported tattoos, not respectable widows.
“Come on! There’s only one artist I trust in London. He’s fabulous!”
“I don’t know. I’ve never had a tattoo, and I’m pushing forty...”
“We can getWuthering Heightsthemed tattoos...”
