She sits up and stares at him, not bothering to cover herself. Deafening silence breathes down her neck in the aftermath of his confession, and an irritable buzz of something foreign makes her feel dizzy.
“What?” The word is a pathetic excuse of a whisper. “What’re you…” Her voice – it won’t cooperate with her. She tries, but ends up failing to make herself speak.
How have things changed so drastically in just a matter of minutes?
Cass turns his head to the left, but still doesn’t meet her eyes. “You know I’ve always wanted more, Nia – more from school, from people. FromLife.”
She grimaces when her eyes sting. “I do. But this… Cass, this is a decision you promised you’d make withme. You told me we’d go to college together.Betogether. You wanted to graduate here; you wanted to be with me. You…you can’t just…”
“I had an opportunity, and I didn’t wanna let it pass.” He finally looks at her. “My dad got a promotion and was asked to transfer to NYC. And he said yes, because he knows I’ve always wanted to go, and also because that city has so much potential for the entire family. I… Fuck, Nia, I justcouldn’tsay no.”
“But youcanleave me here after making all those elaborate promises to me, making me believe in things that I otherwise wouldn’t have put my faith in,” she grits out, and when he doesn’t reply, she scoffs and gets off the bed before hastily putting her clothes back on.
She sucks in a breath when her tears threaten to flow, and swallows the growing lump in her throat while fixing her hair into a ponytail above her head.
“Nia…” Cass voices slowly, but she refuses to glance his way.
“Nia,” he says a bit firmly now.
She buttons her shorts and looks at him. “What, Cass?”
“Can we talk, please?”
She doesn’t stop her anger from surfacing, her pain from showing on her face. “You’ve broken me, hurt me. You’ve betrayedeverythingI thought we had, just to fulfil your selfish desire of wanting to move to a big city. And I understand that you put yourself first in this situation, but there’s something you need to understand, too, Cass. Just because you’ve decided to move on, doesn’t mean I’ll be onboard with the idea as well. I have the right to be upset, and I sure as hell reserve the right to not want to speak to you.”
“Nia, come on.Please.”
“I fuckinghateyou,” she croaks out, and her tears finally spill out, tainting her cheeks and making her vision blurry. She puts a hand over her mouth as her emotions get the better of her, because the last thing she would have expected was to direct those 3 words at Cass. But damn it, it hurts, and the pain warrants a release – be it with anger or sadness.
Cass stands up so he can look at her fully, his own pain flashing openly across his features. “You don’t mean that,” he says, more to himself than her.
She sniffs and swipes her shaky fingers over her face. “Oh, but Ido.” She takes a step towards him, then thinks better of it and moves back. “Were you even going to let me know about it?” she asks. “If I hadn’t mentioned the assignment, would you have told me? Why do you even come to school? What’s the point of it if you’re fuckingleavinganyway?”
“You know I wouldn’t have left without telling you,” he states.
“Do I, though?” she challenges.
“Nia, please…” He tries to reach for her, but she jerks away from him.
“Don’t,” she warns, mainly to keep herself from falling apart. If he touches her, she knows she won’t be able to stop him. And that’s the kind of power she simply can’t hand over, not anymore.
He clenches his hands at his sides. “What do you want me to do?” he questions, his anger rising. “What the fuck would you have me do, huh, Nia? Stay here in Adenbrooke – a lame-ass town in the middle of Maine with no hope of reaching my goals? Be as aimless and naïve and stupid as you, with no ambition in life other than selling coffee and pastries at your parents’ café? Have no real motives other than marrying and having kids, and have them be just as foolish as you? Because that’s not me; that’s not evenremotelyclose to who I am.”
To say that she’s shocked would be an understatement. To say that his words have gutted her would be a cruel joke.
“Wow…” she whispers, just as Cass’s eyes widen in realization.
“Fuck,” he spits out. “Nia, I swear I didn’t mean–”
“Save it.” She grabs her bag from next to his bed, then breezes past him and towards the door, only to stop when she reaches the threshold. “If you think I’m so dumb and useless, why did you tell me you loved me?” she asks, letting yet another tear paint her cheek. “Why did you kiss me on my porch last year and ask me to be yours? Why did you fuck me a week after and call me beautiful?” She doesn’t want to cry, but it’s hard not to when you’re getting your heart broken by the man you thought was your forever.
Thirteen years of friendship, laughter, love, andthisis what it’s accounting to in the end. And what’s worse is that he didn’teven consider telling her about his decision until he absolutelyhadto.
Cass doesn’t say anything; he doesn’t know what to. He shot an arrow, but it ricocheted back to him, hitting him squarely in the chest.
“Was it because you had something to prove, Cass?” Nia questions softly. “To yourself, maybe, or to someone else. Is that what it was for you?”
“You know that’s not what it is, baby. You know I love–”
