“I know, but I want it to be,” he says easily.
I just…stare at him in incredulity.
“Are you being serious right now?” I sneer before moving out of his hold. “Do you really think it’s that easy, Cass? Do you think I’m going to let you in and ruin me all over again? Do you really think I’m that…gullible that I’ll let you take away my newfound normalcy from me?” I push back my hair and try not to look him in the eyes when his expression turns from lustful to hurtful.
“I just…I don’t get what you’re trying to achieve here,” I admit. “You follow me home after returning to town, kiss me onmy porch and leave me shocked and confused, then come back here days later to do exactly that, hoping I’ll give in completely this time. And for what – to get a rebound before you leave for good? To know that you’ve still got what it takes to fool me? Is that what it is for you?”
“Nia.” He tries to touch me, but I jerk away from him. “You’re making it harder than it should be.”
“Am I?” I glare at him. I’m so pissed at myself for letting him get to me again. So fucking disappointed.
Cass’s jaw hardens. “Youare.” He steps into the house and shuts the door with abang. “Why is it so goddamn difficult for you? Why does everything with you have to be so dramatic and complicated?”
“Me?” I sneer at him. “Look who’s talking. Complicated should beyoursecond name.” I point a finger at him. “You don’t know what the fuck you want. You don’t know how hard it is for me. You don’t know how I wastedmonthsof my life pining for you – praying you’d come back. You. Don’t. Know.Anything.”
He has the audacity of looking surprised. “Do you seriously think I’m that dense? Do you honestly think I felt –feel– nothing?”
I clench my hands and grit my teeth. “Leave.”
“No.” He walks closer to me.
I stand my ground and look up at him. “Leave, Cass.”
His chest rises and falls unsteadily. “And what if I don’t?”
I’m angry. Sofuckingangry.
Angry at the easy question I’m incapable of answering.
At the vulnerability on his face.
At the desire I feel so deep in my gut that it’s hard not to let it cloud my thoughts.
I turn and head for my bedroom, because really, I need to create as much distance between us as I can, but he grabs myhand and pulls me to him, making me stumble against his hard frame.
“Don’t walk away from me again,” he whispers. “Don’t do what you did all those years ago.”
“You don’t have the right to–”
“Leaving you behind wastorturous, Nia, can’t you fucking understand that? I had no choice. I wantedmore, and for that, I sacrificed you. I sacrificed everything you and I had. But I don’t regret it, and if this – this moment we’re sharing – is my chance to fix what I so selfishly let go, then I’ll take it; I’ll try my best to make it okay.”
“You don’t deserve it.” I shove him away. “You don’t deserve a second chance, a new path, or even a single moment. You don’t deserve anything. You don’t deserveme.”
“I like to think that I do. Everyone deserves a new page, a fresh start.”
“But what’s the point of it if you’re just going to leave that chapter incomplete and bail out of the chance I give you?” I yell. “What then, huh? What happens then?”
He swallows. “Why don’t you try me; give me a fair shot.”
I can’t help the crude laugh that leaves me. “I don’t trust you.”
“You don’t have to trust me to put me to the test,” he counters. “What we had, Nia, isn’t something that just goes away. If anything, it ages with time and becomes stronger. Don’t you feel what I’m feeling right now – that pull, that raw need to taste, to consume, and to earn?”
Goosebumps prick my scalp at his words. My nipples harden; my pussy throbs. The effect he has on me is insane, but is it even valid anymore?
Do I even care if it isn’t?
I shake myself out of the absurd idea. Of course I care. He left me once, and I wouldn’t put it past him to do it again.
