I’m being ridiculous. They’re just items. They can’t physically harm me.
I halt in front of them, gripping the counter’s edge, trying to summon the courage to open the envelope. It feels just like when I stared down the award show invitations. One promising something good, this one… still a mystery.
My mind shuffles through memories of Alek bringing me flowers over the years. Not just for anniversaries or birthdays, but every time I finished a song or had an awards ceremony, he’d show up with my favorite blooms.
Except for the last two songs.
Wait…
I remember getting a bouquet after Paradox of You first played Not Your Just Because on the radio.
But… how did he know?
Maybe I’m just seeing what I want to see.
I take a deep breath and reach for the card.
There’s only one way to get answers, and it isn’t by running away.
I slip my finger beneath the seal and ease the card free.
Alek has some of the nicest masculine handwriting I’ve ever seen.
Congratulations, baby girl.
Songwriter and Song of the Year!
Fucking proud of you, beautiful girl. I always am.
I love you, Hayvin
Always yours,
Alek
There’s no use fighting the tears that spill over. Bottling them up would only let the feelings swell until they burst.
I try to untangle the emotions behind the tears streaking down my face, but they blur together, impossible to separate.
Happy, sad, angry, confused—they all swirl together, turning my heart into a storm.
I miss him far more than I ever let myself admit.
But in the end, it shouldn’t matter. I deserve someone who loves me without making me feel like I’m always competing.
Whether it’s intentional or not.
He says he loves me, but how am I supposed to let myself believe it?
My mind replays our meeting outside the restaurant, looping over his words and the promise he made that day.
Alek wants a chance to prove I’ve always been the one, but do I have the strength to risk it all again?
Do I take the gamble?
Or do I play it safe?
Crap. I have no idea what the right move is.
