“Exactly. You’re not driving. You’re getting your fine ass on behind me, and I’ll get you home safe. You’re in no shape to be behind the wheel.”
“What about the food?” I whisper.
“Yo, fuckboy!” Titan calls out to Alek over the roof of my car.
Alek says something back, but it’s like I’ve tuned him out.
“You handle the check. This is on you. She’s not safe to drive.”
“I got it covered. Just…get her home safe, yeah?” Alek says quietly.
That’s when I notice Alek has come over to us.
“I’ll always make sure she’s safe. She’s always been the first choice for me.”
Lie.
“Yeah? That’s why y’all aren’t together, huh? Because you also put her first?” Alek says sarcastically. “Look. Just keep an eye on her. I fucked up. Again.”
The brush of his fingers over my cheek nearly melts the ice inside me, and I almost lean into his touch.
Because I love you.
Lie.
Lie.
Lie.
Lie.
In the words of A to Z, it’s justLip Service and Pretty Lies.
The Complexity of Humans
Alek
Itiltmyheadagainst the back of my new office chair, eyes closed, letting the singer’s voice from Not Your Just Because wash over me.
Each lyric stirs a dull ache in my chest.
Hayvin’s talent never fails to leave me in awe.
I bet my girl doesn’t know just how closely I actually do follow her career. I’m sure she probably thinks I know nothing about it. Or anything about her in general.
That’s on me, too.
In my twisted mind, admitting just how obsessed I was with her felt like handing her the power to break me. I’ve seen that kind of power twisted into something cruel, and I couldn’t stomach the risk.
In the end, I was the one who caused pain to the person I love.
I was the one who tainted the love she had for me. The thought twists my insides because I don’t know if I can ever make it right.I want to—God, I want to—but I’m not sure I deserve the chance, or if she’d even give it.
It’s hard to admit that you’re the reason the person you love the most is in pain.
For ages, I convinced myself I wasn’t doing anything wrong. That Hayvin couldn’t possibly be hurting, not from me. I was just hanging out with my friends, nothing more.
She was uneasy about Jerica, but I played dumb. Pretending not to understand was easier than facing the truth about myself.
