David clamps his mouth shut and leans back, his eyes dark and dangerous. Things are going to be tense between us for a while. It sucks, but that’s just how it is. We’ll get through it. Eventually.
I turn back to Jerica. “Did I ever give you any indication that I wanted something like from you?”
“You were always there,” she whispers.
“I was, but never alone, J. It was always with David. In any of those times, did Ievermake it seem like it was more? Did I flirt? Did I touch? Sit close to you? Speak to you in any other way that wasn’t friendly?”
Jerica bites her lip and slowly shakes her head, and I catch the flicker of realization dawning in her eyes.
She’s finally piecing it together.
“No, I didn't. Because the truth is, when I walked out of your hotel room the night Charlie told me to go, I never thought of you in any other way again. The only reason I was even there in that room with you is because Charlie pushed me to do it. She believed that I may have had feelings for you.” I shake my head. “The only thing I ever felt for you was attraction, and that was alongfucking time ago. It wasn’t even there that night. I came to help you that day because I was running. I was always fucking running from Hayvin because the way she makes me feel…it terrifies the hell out of me. There’s power in that, and I’ve witnessed it too many times what that type of power does to the person it’s wielded over. I just didn’t realize that you can’t run from someone who has already carved their way into your heart and soul. You used me that day, Jerica, but more than that, you broke the friendship we had.”
“You could have pushed her away,” David sneers.
“Man, my body froze. My mind was blank. I couldn’t fucking think because one of the people I trusted most had just put their mouth on mine. Something I didn’t want, by the way, if the way I didn’t once respond to it was any indication. So, yeah, I probably could have if I had been able to think that fast. By the time my head kicked back in, she’d already moved away.”
“Why did you continue to go along with it? Why didn’t you tell Reggie the truth?” Jerica whispers.
I sigh. “Because, Jerica. You and your brother were my best friends. You were hurting, and you needednottoshow that toReggie. I was wrong, though. I fucked up when I stayed and helped you. I fucked up a long time before that when I was using both of you to keep Hayvin at a distance. Especially when keeping her at a distance was the last thing I wanted. I fucked up when I failed to mention to…basically everyone…that she was my woman. But you fucked up when you kissed me without my consent.”
The waitress breaks up our conversation when she brings us our food. We each dig in, eating in silence for a bit before Jerica brings us back to the conversation.
“You said were,” she mentions quietly.
“Huh?” I ask, my brows snapping together as I try to figure out what she means.
“You said wewereyour best friends.”
I finish the bite I was chewing and wipe my mouth with a napkin before nodding slowly. “Yeah, I did.”
“The fuck does that mean, Alek?” David growls.
“It means you and me? We’re okay, for now.” I turn to Jerica. Her watery eyes tug at something in me, but I push past it. “But you and me? This is where our friendship ends. I have to make sure Hayvin never doubts how I feel again. She needs to know she’s my first choice, that she’s everything. And I can’t prove that if I’m still friends with you.”
The table is quiet as we all come to terms with what has transpired.
“You’re choosing her over me,” she states softly.
“And I always will. I’ll choose her over anyone,” I address both of them just as quietly.
Jerica smiles at me tenderly. There’s sadness, but also friendly affection in her glossy eyes. “That’s good, Alek. That’s the way it should always be.”
“Don’t you think this is all a little too late?” David asks gruffly.
I know it’s late. But I’m not giving up. I’ll fight for her, no matter what it takes.
Jerica digs into her purse and pulls out her wallet, then grabs a couple of bills. She tosses them down on the table and stands. She studies me, her eyes flickering with sad acceptance.
“I’m really sorry, Alek. I never meant to hurt you or Hayvin. You and Everleigh are right. We hurt people because it’s all we know.” She looks over at her brother as a tear falls down her cheek. “I don’t want to be like this anymore, D. I don’t want to hurt, and I don’t want to hurt anyone else. It’s time I heal from the things I should have healed from a long time ago. I’m going to seek out some therapy. I hope you choose to do the same before you hit rock bottom, too.”
“I’m good,” David says in a hard voice.
Jerica shakes her head. “No, brother, you’re not. I just hope you and the people in your path don’t have to learn that the hard way.” She turns back to me. “Good luck, Alek. You and Hayvin are both great, and I wish you a beautiful future together.”
“Dude,” David starts when Jerica walks away.
“Don’t, man. It had to be done, and you know it. Either accept it or don’t. But if you can’t, then we’re gonna have to go our separate ways too.”
