That growl used to be my undoing. Now, thankfully, it barely grazes me.
Mostly.
But then I wonder...maybe Titan could offer a guy’s perspective on whatever is going on in Alek’s head. Not that it changes anything. The past is already written.
Still…
“Have you ever had a female friend that you liked more than in a platonic way?” I ask.
He arches a brow, shooting me a look so pointed I can’t help but grimace.
“Right. Let me see if I can reword it.”
“How about you just get straight to the shit, babe? Stop pussy footing around it and lay facts to me.”
I let out a sigh. “Alright, here’s the deal. I’m not sure how much you know about Alek or his friends, but let’s just say you know nothing for now. Alek’s been tight with David and histwin sister, Jerica, since they were kids. And Jerica...well, she’s gorgeous. No denying it.”
“Oh, hell,” he mutters, already seeing where this story is heading.
My mouth pulls to the side. “They all got really close over the years, but as far as I know, Alek and Jerica never crossed that line, even though he wanted to. If I’d realized just how much he wanted to before we got together, I wouldn’t be in this mess. I was blind—willfully, maybe—because I was so in love with him.” I pause as Titan winces, letting the sting of my words settle before I go on. “Maybe I just didn’t want to admit it. Because if I did, it meant I was never anyone’s first choice. Again.” I whisper the last word, sure he’ll understand.
He flinches, but I can’t blame him for chasing his dreams. Looking back, it was selfish to want him to pick me over his future. We were just kids, and I was hopelessly in love.
“You know it’s not the same, love bug,” he says quietly.
“No. I know, and that’s not fair to you, so I’m sorry. It doesn’t help the way I feel, though, Tan. With you, it seemed like I came second to your military career. With Alek, I was constantly coming second to a woman. The only time anyone ever put me first was if I did it.” I reach over and rest my hand on top of his clenched fist. “Look. I’m not saying any of this to hurt you or take jabs. You’re the one who wanted to talk about this shit, so I’m laying it all out for you. Your choice, I understood. It was your career, ya know. Your dream.” My smile is wistful as I recall the excitement that would thrum through his body whenever he started talking about joining the Air Force to become a fighter pilot. “I begged you not to join. God, no matter how unfair it was at the moment, I’d have given anything for you to choose another career and pick me. The truth was, I really wasn’t ever going to stand in front of your dream, Titan, but I didn’t know how to be a part of it. No matter how much I loved you, itwasn’t the future I wanted. We both knew that. Your choice was inevitable because this—who you are right now—this is who you were meant to be. So, for you and me, it wasn’t ever really a choice, you know? But for Alek?” The laugh I let out is so full of bitterness that even I flinch. “He had a choice from the moment we got together. He got into a relationship with me, promising me a future, knowing his heart would never be in it because it belonged somewhere else.”
“What happened?” he asks gruffly.
I sigh. “The same thing that happens every time something goes wrong between us. Jerica. Well, I mean, she can’t happen without Alek allowing her to happen, but she’s the catalyst, I guess you could say. She’s the constant.”
“Right. So, what made this time different, Vinnie? What made this time your tipping point?”
This is where I falter, afraid my honesty might wound Titan. No matter how things ended, he’s someone I once loved deeply, and I could never hurt him on purpose.
Maybe that’s why it stings so much that Alek could.
Unfortunately, Titan can still read me just as well as he used to when we were kids because he blows out a breath and leans back in his chair. “Right. Let me guess. You told him you loved him, and he said nothing back.”
“Let’s get him a cookie, folks,” I mutter.
He reaches over and snatches my chin between his fingers so quickly that I don’t have time to react. “Don’t. Don’t do that. Don’t let him make you bitter, Vinnie. You didn’t let me, and we were just as real. Don’t let him either. Neither of us is worth changing who you are. Embrace the pain you feel. Own that shit, love bug. Wear it with pride, make it a part of your story, but never let it fucking change you.”
Before I can answer, the doorbell rings again, and a wave of dread crashes over me.
Titan releases me, and I force myself to stand, my legs heavy as stone, as I trudge to the door. Whoever waits on the other side—I’m not sure I want to face them, not with the warning bells clanging in my gut.
The warmth of Titan at my back reminds me that, whatever happens, I won’t have to face it alone.
You’d think after what happened earlier, I’d finally learn to use the peephole, but of course I don’t. Instead, I swing open the door and get ambushed by my second shock of the day. Reggie, looking like he’s been dragged through hell, slumped on my doorstep.
Every instinct screams at me to slam the door in his face. I don’t trust him, not his presence, not whatever reason dragged him here.
Titan’s fingers graze the bare skin where my shirt has ridden up, a silent reminder that he’s right beside me. I inhale, steady myself, and try to look like I haven’t just been knocked off balance.
“Reggie.” I clear my throat. “This is a surprise. What can I help you with?”
He lifts a hand to the back of his neck, his eyes flashing to Titan before coming to me. “Do you have a minute?”
