“Of course. Swing by Grinders and drop him off. I’m just here with Charlie.”
“Does she mind?” Kayla asks.
I peer over at Charlie, whose face is blank, but she shakes her head.
“No, I don’t mind,” she says.
“Thanks, you two. I really appreciate you looking after him, Keaton. Charlie, it was nice talking to you.”
“Nice to talk to you, too,” Charlie says quietly.
Once Kayla is off the phone, I watch the emotions play out over Charlie’s face. So many questions flit over her features, but I know her, and she won’t ask. Maybe if it were before everything happened with us. Now, though, she doesn’t believe she has that right.
It’s not my story to tell, but this is Charlie. I promised her that I’d not keep shit from her anymore. So, even if we’re not together, she’s my priority. Something she should have beenover the last few years. As much as I want to respect the privacy of Kayla and Brock, I won’t do it at the expense of Charlie’s comfort.
I reach across the table, letting my hand settle beside hers. The warmth radiating from her skin is enough. Then, unexpectedly, she loops her pinky around mine, a childhood ritual from before we ever fell in love.
Staring at our little fingers wrapped around each other, my eyes burn.
Fuck. When was the last time we did something so fucking simple?
I can’t remember, but it’s been so long that this small, ordinary gesture now feels intoxicating.
“Keaton?” Charlie calls softly.
Shaking my head, I give her my attention. “Sorry. My mind drifted. Kayla and Brock used to work with me at Inkubus. Brock hasn’t talked to me about it a lot, barely anything at all, but I know he cheated on her before Ryder was born,” I tell her quietly, my voice broken, not just for Kayla and Brock, but for me and Charlie.
Charlie sucks in a sharp breath and pulls away to lean back in her seat. Her arms fold over her chest as if they’ll protect her. “Does Kayla know you’re also a cheater?”
Her words hit hard, a fierce reminder that no matter how much I change, I’ll always carry this label. I broke this beautiful girl and colored the way she sees the world.
Swallowing hard, I nod. “She knows. I don’t ever say it with pride, but I also don’t hide how badly I fucked up with you, Charlie. It wouldn’t be fair to you if I didn’t own the pain I caused you.”
“And she’s just okay with you all being friends?” she asks harshly.
I don’t take offense to anything she says. She’s entitled to her questions, and I’ll always answer them the best I can.
“Not sure. She’s never really said, but I think she hopes I can help Brock through what he did. I’m hoping she sees the person I am now and not the stupid guy who fucked up with poor decisions.”
Charlie stares at me, pain alive in her eyes, and I wonder for the millionth time if I’m even doing her any good by being around her.
“If it’s an issue for you, Charlie, I’ll walk away from my friendship with him right now.”
“Help me understand why you want to be friends with him, Keaton, because I’m having a hard time understanding it. That saying, ‘Birds of a feather, flock together,’ keeps playing on repeat in my head right now.”
I run my fingers through my hair, hoping my words make sense when they come out. “I became friends with him before I knew about what he did, but that’s not the reason I’m still friends with him. Like me, he genuinely regrets his actions. He’s broken down in front of me too many times to believe otherwise. He knows what I did, and if he wasn’t truly remorseful, I don’t think he’d pretend he was. I’d think he’d sort of brag or something if he didn’t feel it. I don’t know. So, I started thinking that maybe we could help guide each other through this fucked up journey, you know? Stupid, probably, but I just wanted to help someone else who is genuinely remorseful. Not sure how I’d do it, but I needed some sort of…goodness, I guess, to come from the choices I made.” I blow out a breath. “I brought it up to Lionel. He didn’t really give me the okay, but he didn’t steer me away from it either. He emphasized the importance of being aware that I am the one making my own choices and that I should choose them carefully. If I believe we can help each other travel this road, then it’s my choice. He just warned me to watchfor warning signs and potential dangers that could happen if Brock wasn’t feeling what I believed he was.” I lift my shoulders and let them fall. “I don’t know. I’m sure it doesn’t make sense, and I’m sorry for it. It’s the best explanation I have. But I was serious, Charlie. If I need to back away from my friendship with him, I’ll do it. I don’t ever want to do anything else that will cause you more pain.”
She continues to stare at me, chewing on her bottom lip, as so many thoughts work behind her eyes. I know she’s not ready to speak those thoughts out loud yet, but I’m hoping she’ll one day get there.
Charlie shakes her head, blowing out a breath. “No. Don’t stop being friends with him. We’re not together, and I won’t tell you who you can be friends with. I won’t lie because I never have. I am uncomfortable with it only because you don’t have the best track record of picking friends these days, Keaton.”
I shrug. “Then I won’t be friends with him anymore.”
There are no other choices when it comes to Charlie. Not anymore. Losing her, breaking her, is the regret that haunts me most. Whatever it takes to prove my sincerity, I’ll pay it. Now and for the rest of my life.
Without complaint.
Without anger.
