There will always be consequences for your actions. These are only the start of mine.
This is where my atonement begins, and even if redemption never finds me, I’ll keep fighting for it.
Somewhere, I veered off the path I once walked with Charlie. Maybe I saw it coming and just refused to admit it. All I know is this isn’t the life I wanted for either of us. But my selfishness left us with no other road.
This is our life now.
At least until I can fix it.
If I'm able to fix it.
God, I hope so.
"I'm so fucking sorry, my pretty butterfly," I whisper to the night sky as I shove my hands in the pockets of my jeans and start the walk to my apartment.
Erasing You
Keaton | The Past
Eventhougheverypartof me ached to rush back to our apartment, I forced myself to honor her final request as she left the pool house. After everything, it was the smallest act of decency I could offer.
Granite Bay University's campus sprawls so wide that a walk from David's house to the far edge and back should give her the time she needs.
Tears sting my eyes all over again as I picture what she must be doing right now.
This wasn’t supposed to be how things ended. We were supposed to finish college, start our careers, and have the wedding she’d dreamed of since childhood. After that, a home of our own, then kids.
We dreamed big, convinced our future couldn't be broken. Charlie and our mothers insisted we were meant to be. I believed it. Until Rianna showed up and everything changed.
So how did it all unravel? How did I end up limping through a silent campus, bloodied and alone, while the girl I love packs her life away from me?
If I’d seen this ending back when I met Rianna that last semester of junior year, would I have just kept walking instead of letting her into my life?
Sixteen years of memories crash over me, so fierce I collapse to my knees right in the middle of the campus courtyard.
"I'm Charlie. Who are you?"
My nose crinkles up. "That's a boy's name."
Charlie's eyes get really big and shiny, and her lips shake. "That's mean."
I don't like it when she cries. It makes my tummy upset and my heart feel funny. "I'm sorry. Please don't cry. I-I-I promise not to hurt you ever again."
Her lips still shake, but she sniffles and wipes her face on her shoulder. "You better not, or I won't be your friend anymore."
I kept that promise, right up until Rianna entered the picture.
The memories keep battering my heart, ripping away pieces with every blow.
The day a drunk driver crashed in their yard where Charlie's five-year-old little sister, Joely, was playing and killed her, my butterfly begged me to tell her it wasn't real.I promised her I'd never lie to her.
The day she told me she loved me in a boyfriend kind of way, when we were thirteen, and I told her I loved her too.I promised her I always would.
The day we lost our virginity to each other at sixteen, she asked me if we'd always be each other's one and only.I promised her we would be.
The day we talked about our dreams and our future, and she made me promise we'd always be together.I gave her that promise.
Now, all my promises to her feel cruel, reminders of how completely I failed her.
