Amelia and Alek both widen their eyes and take a step back when I walk out of the bathroom. Alek’s eyes light with appreciation, and it’s nice to know that even though things have cooled between us, he’s not hiding something like that from me.
“Well,” I demand, propping my hands on my hips, when neither of them says anything.
Alek clears his throat and gives me his cocky smile. “I think you look hot as hell, Lollie-girl, and Keaton is going to have all his regrets smack his ass in the face when you walk in the door.”
I take a seat at my vanity so that Amelia can do her thing. Alek pulls up another chair beside me to keep me company while she works on my hair and makeup.
But then his phone goes off and a notification pops up with a text message. Jerica’s name stands out to me when he opens the message thread. I’m not jealous. I actually don’t give a shit if they’re texting. There are a few things regarding her and him I’m curious about, though. Mainly, his feelings toward her. I can’t ever get a good enough read on them. There was a time when I thought he had a thing for her back before we started ours. But I don’t know. He runs when she and David need anything. He smiles when he’s talking to her, and he’s always hanging out with her and David when she’s in town. All those together would normally have someone concerned, but because he’s my best friend and I know him as well as I know myself—intimately at least, because that’s about as far as Alek ever lets anyone in—I’m not sure he so much as has feelings for her as he uses her. I don’t think he realizes it either. He doesn’t do it in a malicious way, but in a way that would help keep other women at a distance.
“Jerica?” I ask.
His eyes jerk to mine, something akin to guilt and remorse flashing in them before he blanks them and smiles at me. “Yeah, just seeing if it’s cool for her and Reggie to come hang out this weekend.”
Lifting a brow, I state, “Let me guess, you told her it was okay.”
I purposely keep my voice flat as I try to get a bead on my best friend’s feelings.
He grimaces and runs his hand through his hair. “Did you have something planned?”
“No. Just curious. Does it bother you that she's bringing Reggie?”
His brows draw together, like he can’t figure out why I’m asking that question. “No. He’s her boyfriend. Why would it bother me?”
I stare at him while Amelia styles my hair, watching his face as he messages Jerica. Alek does his best to remain stoic most of the time, but when he’s comfortable around the people he’s with, he’s usually not as…blank. So, his expressions are one of the easiest ways to tell how and what he’s feeling when he refuses to speak.
Those facial expressions try to tell me one story, but my gut, and the look in his eyes when he glances at me, tell another. My gut has never really steered me wrong before, so I believe he’s serious when he questions why it should bother him. Maybe he really doesn’t care for her the way he tries to make people think he does.
“I just figured it would because of the feelings you have for her.”
Alek looks confused for a second before his face clears and a smirk settles on it. “Babe, I told you before that there was nothing there between me and her.”
“What happened that weekend you went away on business with her and David?”
“You’re talking about the weekend I asked you out, and you wanted me to make sure there was nothing there between me and her first?” he questions with a lifted brow.
“Yeah. I mean, it was never really brought back up between us. I know you’re not a cheat, so when you came back and we hooked up, I just assumed you never said anything to her.”
“You asked me to be sure, Char, and I cared enough about you and what you went through to respect that. I pretty much knew what I was feeling, but thought that maybe there was somethingI was missing since you asked me that. She and Reg were split up that weekend, so we got lucky she was single for a change, I guess. Anyway, I put myself out there to her despite my gut warning me it was all wrong. That I really didn’t want to go there with her. And when she told me friends only, a big brother, you know what I felt, Charlie?”
“What?” I murmur.
“Relief. I felt fucking relief because it wasn’t what or who I wanted.”
His openness surprises me because it’s not something he usually does. Oh, the man can fuck, and give sage advice all day long, but in laying himself open on the table, he treats it like a trip wire and steps over the line carefully.
The thing is, one day Alek is going to meet someone, and if he continues to use Jerica as a wall between him and anyone that might cause him to feel anything more than surface-level emotions, then it’s going to ruin his chance at true happiness.
“All finished,” Amelia says. “Now, stand up and turn around so we can get a look at you all together.”
Tears prick my eyes as I catch my reflection. The last time I got dressed up like this was…
I swallow hard when it hits me.
The night of the pool party.
My hands tremble, and even makeup can’t hide the way my skin pales in the mirror.
“I don’t think I can do this,” I whisper.
