This desperate anger and deep sadness?
When his taillights vanish, I head back in to settle our tab. There are things I need to do before sleep claims me. Words for Charlie, maybe a new letter, and definitely some fresh ink.
As I wait for the bartender, a hulking figure plants himself at my side.
David hesitates to take a seat, but then he mutters, "Fuck it." He glances at me once he's seated. "You look like shit."
I aim my middle finger at him. "Is he going to hurt her?"
He doesn't pretend to not know who I'm referring to. "Does anyone ever set out to intentionally hurt someone?" Both our thoughts must have landed on the same person, because his face screws up in disgust. "Scrap that. He'd never do it purposefully. Alek isn't perfect, Keaton, but he's not a bad person. She could choose worse to move on with. Will it go anywhere between them? I don't fucking know, but I know Charlie deserves to at least try. You fucked her up badly, man. Looking at you, I can tell she's not the only one you fucked up. You know what you hadand what you lost. I'm not going to continue to kick you while you're down, no matter how much you deserve it. You're doing enough of that on your own. But I'm also not going to let you get in the way of her at least trying to find something and someone outside of you. You had her in your life for sixteen years, and six of those were in a committed, monogamous relationship. Somewhere in there, you decided that monogamy with Charlie wasn't enough. Rianna was easy, and deep down, you knew that, and you wanted to see what it was like outside of Charlie. You were just too much of an asshole to leave your relationship before you did. In doing so, you destroyed the one person who has always stood at your side, no matter what. You were weak in the face of temptation, and she wasn't. Because I know you're not blind and you could see how many guys wanted what you had."
"You're telling me shit I already know, David. But I promise I have no intention of coming between her and Alek. If she finds happiness with him, then that's all I want."
"Seems that awful girl is at it again," a voice says from somewhere around me.
I tune David out so I can listen because something tells me there's only one girl they're talking about.
"One wife caught her at Grinders. I heard that Trish Valencort tossed her coffee in that girl's face and called her a home-wrecking cunt. Hopefully, she wasn't wrong and that karma will get that girl before long. She's done enough damage in this town."
"You know it's not just her fault, Kerrie. She wouldn't have been able to seduce those guys if they weren't receptive to it."
Ouch.
The truth fucking hurts. It's nothing that Lionel or Charlie haven't said, but more outsiders saying it just increases my shame.
"It's going to follow you, man. There's a stigma on cheaters for a reason. People don't like them, and it's mostly for good reason. This is a burden you're going to have to carry, and it's one you're going to have to not end up resenting Charlie for."
I shoot him a sharp look. "Why the fuck would I do that?"
He shrugs. "Why the fuck did you do what you did? I don't know."
Touche, motherfucker. Touche.
When the bartender finally comes over, she flashes a flirty smile and leans in, inviting my eyes. But the truth is, I feel nothing. Not even a flicker of temptation, and for once, I'm proud of that.
"Just closing out my tab," I tell her.
She nods, looking a bit disappointed, but wasting no time turning back to business.
I sense David's eyes on me, weighing and judging. He sees I'm still coming up short, and he's not wrong.
Once I sign the credit card receipt, I check on David before I leave. "Are you good? Do you need a ride anywhere?"
"Where are you off to?"
"Gonna see a man about some ink." I hesitate. "Do you want to come?"
He stares at me intensely for a few seconds before lumbering to his feet. He tosses a twenty on the bar. "You know what? I think I do."
That's how I find myself walking out of the shop three hours later with a dragon tattoo on the lower left side of my abdomen, right next to my dick, and a tentative friendship with David Baladucci.
The dragon lies on its belly, face buried in its arms. One wing hangs broken, a single tear slipping from smoky gray eyes. Beside it, a human heart sits split down the middle.
"Forever her dragon?" David asks quietly.
I shrug. "Even if we never find our way back, I'm always hers, David. My heart, my soul, my body—they'll always belong to her. I made one reckless choice that tore her from my life. I won't do that again."
"What if she decides she can't forgive you? Are you going to stay alone?"
