Keaton wraps his arms around me when I nod, and I bury myself in his chest, anchoring my arms behind his back. He holds me tightly, our bodies trembling together, as we process that we hit another trigger of mine. Keaton keeps me anchored to him, both of us seeking comfort in each other, and the longer I’m snug against him, the more peace spreads through my soul.
It’s strange, finding comfort in the arms of the person who hurt me most.
“Thank you for the patience you have with me,” I murmur against his chest. “And for being here to comfort me when I run into a trigger. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t you dare fucking apologize, beautiful girl,” he says. “I’m the reason you’re going through them. I want to be here for you as much as you’ll let me.”
I nod and let silence settle between us again. My thoughts drift back to his phone, curiosity gnawing at me.
Keeping my arms wrapped around him, I lean my head back and peer up at him. “You never found your old phone?”
He shakes his head with a grimace. “No. I lost it at Rianna’s, but I actually believe she stole it out of my car that day.”
I grit my teeth and close my eyes, locking away the feelings her name stirs up. I refuse to let it ruin the progress we’ve made today.
“Why, though?”
He shrugs. “I’m assuming to stir up shit when it’s convenient for her.”
I stay quiet, just nodding and resting my head against his chest.
My emotions are running low, so I press a gentle kiss to his chest. My heart softens when I feel him shiver beneath my lips.
“Take me home?” I ask.
I hold his hand all the way back to the car, through the drive home, and as he walks me to my door. It’s my silent way of telling him we’re okay. My triggers won’t win. I still want this, even if the road is bumpy.
“Can I give you a hug?” he asks when I finally release his hand.
“I’d like that.”
When he pulls away and shoves his hands in his pockets, he asks, “Are you up for another date?”
I sigh and lean against the porch railing. “This date hit a rough patch at the end, but I think we made it through, don’t you?”
Keaton nods. “You’re so fucking strong.”
“I didn’t really have a choice. I’m not saying that to make you feel bad. It’s just the truth. I had to find my strength or let my trauma win, and you know me, I don’t stay down for long.”
“You’ve always had a core made of steel, beautiful. It’s something I’d always admired about you.”
“We’ve got a long road ahead,” I tell him.
“Yeah.”
“Do you have it in you to stick this out? It won’t be easy. We’ll probably have more bad days than good at first, as we work through all the damage. I can’t go further if you’re not willing to put in the work.”
Determination etches his face as he lifts his chin. “I have it in me. I want this. I want you. I want us. I understand that the relationship we had is dead. There’s no way to revive that. If you choose to bless me with another chance, what we’ll be building will be brand new. Whatever pits lie ahead on our road, I’ll rest my body over them so that you can walk safely across. I’ll do what I can to minimize any pain you face in the future. Whatever work I have to put in, Charlie, I’m here to do it. I’m not going anywhere. I’m not running.”
I search his face, needing to see the truth in his eyes. When I find it, I nod. “Okay. We need more boundaries. No labels. I’m not ready. But exclusivity is non-negotiable, Keaton. If I even suspect otherwise, I’m gone for good. I won’t do this again. I’m giving you this chance, so please don’t mess it up. I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay with you having female friends again, but if that ever changes, we’ll have to talk about it. Really talk.”
“I don’t want one again, Char. I’m fine with exclusivity because I don’t want anyone else, just you.”
“About Alek. He’s my best friend, but I’ll step back if I need to. He’ll understand.”
“Fuck that,” Keaton spits out, shocking the crap out of me.
“What?”
