“I’m sorry. We did all that we could do. We could not save her.”
I fell to my knees.
The tears made my sight blurry, and I was too weak to even stand. The paramedics were the only people who were trying to comfort me as they walked me to the front of the building, as I whaled almost over the music. Once we got outside, I saw the same round, bad-built man who had disrespected my sister inthe hallway, and I lunged at him, but was held back by the people around us.
“What the fuck did you do to her! What happened to my sister!”
“I didn’t do shit to your sister. You need to get the fuck away from my club. You and that dead bitch. I have money to make.”
He spit on the ground in front of me.
I blacked out even more, attacking him with words, shoes, jewelry, and whatever I could throw at him while being held back. In the midst of the chaos, I saw cameras pointed at me, and I was disgusted that the worst day of my life had become a show for some.
“You murdered my sister!”
“Fuck you bitch. Just like I fucked your sister.” He chuckled like his disrespect was funny.
I was dragged away by a policeman who then put me in a cop car to calm down. It didn't work though and I felt like breathing became even heavier in the car, and all I could think about was how I let my mama down. I was supposed to protect Ryan. Now she’s dead and leaving her little girl without a mother. I have to get justice for what just happened to my sister. I don’t care how long it takes and who goes down in the process.
This can't be my life right now.
Chapter 3
Pernelle
Two weeks later
Every time I send Princeton’s ass to the store, I end up regretting it. That boy doesn’t have any sense of urgency at all, and it pisses me off. I ask him to grab a couple of chocolate Crunch Bars from the store for me, and somehow, it’s an hour later, and his ass is still not back. I swear, it’s like he forgets that I am pregnant and craving every five minutes. As unhealthy as it sounds, I eat Crunch Bars after damn near every meal. This baby loves chocolate, and Skittles, and anything else that’s not good for me. I’ve eaten more bags of chips these past eight months than I probably did my whole life, thanks to her.
Once I have this little girl, I am going straight to the fuckin’ gym to lose this extra weight I’ve put on. I feel bloated, tired, and I am one strong drink away from finally feeling like myself again. Being pregnant while going through a major life change was a battle made for only God’s strongest soldiers. I know I have to be one to still be here today. This past year has been one of the craziest of my life.
I walked over to the window, pulling the blinds back a little to see if I could spot Princeton coming down the block. Lettinghim loose on that bike again always made my nerves bad, but I know that I can’t lock him up like a prisoner. At least now, I can have peace knowing that Hov has his back in the streets. Ever since the shooting, he looks out for my brother heavily and makes sure everyone knows Princeton is his lil homie and not to be played with. I also find comfort in knowing one of the people who shot him is gone, and hopefully the other, Elijah, is in the same place, rotting in hell. Sometimes, that’s the only reason I sleep at night.
Out the window, I didn’t see Princeton, but a bunch of niggas posted up doing a whole bunch of nothing. There were little groups of people scattered around the courtyard. Some slap boxing, some shooting dice, and others just talking loud with bottles of cheap ass liquor in their hands. I could see the smoke from their blunts drifting up in the air, mixing in with the scents of weed, piss, and takeout somebody left on the curb. Every few seconds, I heard a bottle crack, loud laughing, and somebody arguing about money. Same shit every night no matter the weather. The same scene I swore I was done with back when I thought life was about to change for the better with Emoney.
Times like this when Emoney crossed my mind, I picked up my phone to call every contact I could until someone answered to take my mind off her trifling ass. My conscience had me thinking about her when my mind didn't want to.
First, I dialed my mama’s number, and once she didn’t answer, I smacked my lips because that pissed me off. There is no telling where her and Ray are at tonight with their newfound fortune. Ray won $10,000 on a scratch-off two weeks ago, and they have been living their best life ever since. I told her that she better slow her traveling down when this baby gets here. I helped her raise her baby, and now it’s time for her to help me raise mine.
I decided now to call Ciara since I haven’t talked with my bitch in a while. I didn’t really like bothering her so much now because I know she’s in the honeymoon phase with her man. My girl always answers her phone, however. No matter how much her life has changed and how far ahead of the game she is now, she still makes time for me. That’s why I’m genuinely happy for my best friend. She deserves the life she has now.
“Hello.”
Ciara answered while giggling. Her voice sounded like she was singing, almost, and that shit made me smile too.
“Hey friend, you busy?”
“No, not really. Just sitting on the couch watching Hov attempt to put up this new chandelier we got for the living room.”
“Okay bro, Hov the builder. I’m surprised he didn’t hire someone to do that for him.”
“Girl, I guess he is in his husband era and wants to do it himself. I just know that I won’t be walking under it for at least two weeks.”
She whispered that last part, and I chuckled, taking a seat back on the couch.
“That’s a blessing, sis. I’m so happy for you and your new beginning.”
“And I’m happy for you too. That baby with all that hair is about to be so cute and chunky. I can’t wait to hold her!”
