As I head upstairs to Ward’s office, Graham is heading down with a mug of coffee. ‘He’s on the phone, Jan,’ Graham warns me, ‘to your brother again,’ he whispers.
‘To my brother? Are you sure?’
Graham nods. ‘Why?’
‘Nothing,’ I say, confused. As I’m about to open Ward’s door I stop when I hear him saying, ‘It’s about time she saw sense. It’s completely irrational.’ I wait, my hand resting on the doorknob. ‘I agree. I’ll see what I can do. I’m sure with time she’ll come round. Yep, we could just go ahead.’ Long pause. In shock I back away, but then lean closer into the door again. ‘Of course, she can’t. I don’t know – when people are grieving they’re all over the place.’ Another pause. ‘It’s a lot of money. I’ll talk to her, don’t worry, leave it with me.’
I turn away, head back downstairs. Howcouldhe?
‘Sweetie,’ says Graham, watching me clear my desk with grim determination and put Spud on the lead, ‘are you all right?’
‘No.’
‘What’s happened?’
‘Tell Ward it’s over, will you?’ I say, my hands shaking.
‘Over?’
‘Tell him I heard him talking to Lucas.’
‘Jan, calm down,’ says Graham, who hates confrontation and arguments.
‘Just tell him,’ I say, leaving the office. ‘He’ll know what I mean.’
32
I’m standing on the doorstep of Jeremy’s house in Richmond, Spud by my side. Lizzie is away on business and the only other person I could think of, the only person I wanted to see, was Jeremy.
‘What’s the matter?’ I fly into his arms. ‘January, what’s happened?’
I don’t know how long he holds me, but finally, when we part, Jeremy’s wife, Emma, ushers us inside, saying she’ll put the kettle on. ‘Take her into your office,’ she tells him, deeply concerned. ‘It’s nice and warm in there.’
Jeremy sits in his armchair listening. His office is cosy, a real fire burning, shelves lined with books, Christmas cards and family photographs. I tell him everything, in great detail, out it all comes like a flowing tap. Jeremy doesn’t say a word until I look at him, saying, ‘Can you believe Ward went behind my back?’
Jeremy hands me one of his handkerchiefs. ‘No,’ he says simply. ‘I can’t.’
‘I trusted him.’
‘I can’t believe he did that because I’m certain there has been a misunderstanding. Ward wouldn’t go back on his word.’
‘But…’
‘Don’t you think you should have waited to talk to him?’ he asks, gently but firmly. ‘Could Graham have maybe got it wrong? Let’s face it he does often get the wrong end of the stick. Doesn’t Ward at least deserve the benefit of the doubt?’
‘But he was talking to Lucas about the house, the money.’ Wasn’t he? I try to recall the conversation again.‘I don’t know, when people are grieving they’re all over the place.’
‘January, you know how much I love you as a friend and former colleague, don’t you?’
I nod, blowing my nose.
‘I’m only saying this because I care. Why did you run away? Why didn’t you try to talk to Ward?’
I inhale deeply. ‘Because…’ I press my lips together. ‘I don’t know, Jeremy. I’m so confused.’
‘Could it be because you love this man and sometimes the easiest thing to do is to run a mile at the first sign of trouble?’
‘No. That’s not it, not at all.’
