Spencer takes my hand. ‘You feel you missed out on being young, free and single, travelling the world and following your dreams? Too much responsibility too soon, right? You know what, Jan? It’s not all that it’s cracked up to be. What you’ve got with Isla is real.’
I nod. ‘I’m lucky. I know I am.’ The room is beginning to spin. ‘But sometimes all I want to do is get up on this table and dance.’
‘Go ahead.’
I laugh. ‘Or learn to fly or bungee jump off the highest cliff, sing naked in the rain.’
‘I’ll buy a ticket for that. Listen, J, if you want a change, a new job then cool, do it. I can ask around too, see if there’s anything going at B & G.’
I can’t work there, but I’m flattered. ‘You’d do that, for me?’ I am feeling light-headed and Spencer is becoming more and more attractive by the minute, by the second.
‘I’d do anything for you.’
‘No strings attached.’
‘I’d prefer strings attached.’
I smile at him, lapping up the attention now. ‘I’ve got dreams.’ I lean my elbows against the table. ‘Don’t you? You have dreams, right?’
Spencer nods. ‘My philosophy is to live each day to the full because we never know if it’s our last. So here we are, J, both single – both lonely, in different ways. I’m attracted to you, I know you are to me.’ Spencer takes my hand again, kisses it.
Oh, so what? Why must I always do the right thing? Although I didn’t do the right thing kissing Ward, did I? I squeeze my eyes shut. Forget about him. I lean towards Spencer; he leans towards me, his lips are on mine.
‘January!’ The familiar voice makes me jump and pull away.
‘Look who’s here,’ says Spencer.
I turn. Ward is approaching our table. Spud barks.
‘What’s going on?’ Ward stares at us.
My heart sinks. How did he know where I was? Then I remember that Graham had asked me, right in front of Ward, where my date was taking me.
Spencer stares back. ‘What’s it to you, mate?’
‘I’m not yourmate.’
He shrugs. ‘I’m with January, as you can see.’
Ward glances at the empty wine bottles. ‘This is your date?’ he asks me, disappointment in his tone.
‘If you don’t mind,’ Spencer says, ‘we were kind of in the middle of something, weren’t we, J?’
Ward is looking at me as if I am his child who has let him down, told him I’d be home by eleven and it’s now past midnight. ‘I do mind,’ he says. ‘I mind a lot.’
‘Why?’ I protest. ‘It’s just a drink.’ I’m aware we’ve attracted an audience, the people at the next-door table doing their best to pretend they’re not eavesdropping.
‘January, what are you doing?’ There’s that disappointment again. Who is he to judge? ‘You told me nothing was going on between you.’
‘Fuck off, Ward. Jan and I go back a long way, don’t we?’
Ward shakes his head. ‘January, tell me you’re not—’
‘I don’t have to tell you anything. What I do, who I see, what I do.’ Have I already said that? I hiccup again. ‘It’smybusiness.’
‘Stay away from him,’ Ward demands. ‘You don’t know what he’s like.’
‘Oh, yes I do.’ I laugh. ‘I know exactly what he’s like. What you see is what you get with Spencer. He’s fun and charming, he’s single and we’re having fun, fun, OK? We’re going to have sex,’ I say drunkenly. ‘Sex.’ I shoo Ward away.
