‘The husband knew I was doing the job; I’d made him agree before I began. I don’t want to be some secret declutterer, snooping around the house in camouflage with my bin liner. Stop laughing, Jan.’
‘Well, stop being so funny.’
‘Both sides have to be happy. So the wife and I are getting along fine, she’s lovely, and we’ve made a start in his study. Some of his paperwork dated back to 1974, before us old cronies were born.’
‘You’re kidding. So, what happened?’ I top up Lizzie’s wine glass.
‘He comes home early, turns up around four, storms outside the house going through every single dustbin liner like an addict, empties all his rubbish on to the driveway, shouting at us both, telling us we’ve ruined his life.’
‘What did you do?’ I ask, thinking how straightforward my day at the office had been.
‘There wasn’t much I could do. I tried gently to explain that he had agreed to this. We showed him round the house. I talked to him, wanted to make him see the improvement, but in the end I had to leave. I just pray he’s not giving her a hard time tonight. She’s terrified of him.’
‘So, how’s it left?’
‘I’ll call her tomorrow. Do you know what the moral of the story is?’
‘Go on.’
‘Never get married.’ She shrugs. ‘Don’t get me wrong, being single has its problems, but you get married and you’re only swapping one set of problems for another, aren’t you?’
As Lizzie and I walk home she asks me about Sherwoods.
‘How’s Ward? Have you had any more secret Friday-night drinks with him?’
‘No.’ Ward has now been working at Sherwoods for two months.
‘Oh, shame.’
‘He’s married.’
‘True. It’s just Graham isn’t an option and you keep on rejecting Spencer, although I don’t see why you can’t carry on having a hot affair.’
‘Lizzie, gorgeous as he is, Spencer chats up anyone in a skirt with a heartbeat.’
‘Well, that only leaves Ward.’
‘Who’s married so that’s not an option either. Anyway, even if he were single, he’s not my type. He’s too…’ I think of him, one moment funny, thoughtful, even kind, the way he’d wished me good luck meeting Dan’s new girlfriend; the other telling me to shut the door on my way out before I’ve barely stepped into his office, ‘unpredictable.’
‘Oh, but we like that.’
‘Compared to Jeremy…’
‘You can’t compare.’
‘I know. All I was going to say is Jeremy was straightforward. With Ward, I sense there’s a lot going on in his head.’
‘You know what, Jan? I doubt it. People always try to impose interesting qualities on quiet people. “He’s so enigmatic” or, “he’s so artistic”, when the truth is he’s probably dull. No one would try and impose anything on me. What you see is what you get. I’m too cheerful to be mysterious.’
‘Ward isn’t dull.’
‘OK, so what sort of things do you reckon go on in his mysterious head?’
‘Don’t know. There’s something not right. Maybe…’ I loop my arm through Lizzie’s, ‘his house needs a good old detox.’
‘Ah, yes! It could liberate him, free his mind and make him nicer in the office.’
‘I’ll suggest it at our meeting tomorrow.’
