‘Nowhere.’
‘She’s getting me a coffee,’ Nina says, giving me a final shove out of the door.
It’s half past one and the dining room is packed, with some eighty or ninety people. There isn’t a spare seat to be seen. Craig is here, looking as tired and ravaged as ever, and yet he always turns up at the café, every Saturday. It’s his one decent meal of the week, plus it’s a chance to see people and talk. He’s talking to Harriet, Sander and Lady Sarah. I introduced them. I overheard Harriet saying she’d heard all about Sander’s cinnamon buns. This is why Nina set up this place. No matter how tough life is Soul Food is always here, every Saturday, like a faithful friend, with delicious food and human connection to feed the soul. As I refill Craig’s water jug and give him a second helping of chicken, he tells Harriet, Lady Sarah and Sander he’s thinking, finally, about applying to get some accommodation. That he’s getting too old to sleep outside shops and under archways, but he doesn’t have much faith in the system. ‘I’m going to say it straight,’ Harriet says to him. ‘I have no idea how hard it must be, no idea at all and I’m not going to pretend I do. But what I do know is life is unfair. Life sucks. I hope the system doesn’t let you down, Craig, because I imagine you’ve been let down far too many times in your life already.’
‘She’s all right, your boss,’ Craig says to me, clearly impressed by Harriet’s honesty.
‘She’s not too bad,’ I agree, touched Harriet is here.
‘Oh, I bought Laurie some bath stuff, hope she likes it,’ he whispers. ‘Thanks for the tip. Not often I buy presents for girls.’ He winks at Harriet and me.
Laurie doesn’t stop to chat to the visitors today. She simply plants plates of food down, before moving away as quickly as she can. I still have a nasty feeling this birthday celebration could be a disaster. As I watch Nina head out of the kitchen and stand outside the hatch, tapping a spoon against a glass, I feel as if I’m watching a film, dreading the next scene to come. It’s a car crash waiting to happen. This is when I miss Angus standing by my side. If he were here, what would he say? I think he’d want to celebrate Laurie’s birthday, instead of letting it slip by, unnoticed.
‘Everyone, listen up!’ Nina shouts. People quieten down and turn towards her. ‘Sorry to interrupt,’ she says, still talking over a few voices. ‘Shh! Everyone, quiet! I’ve got an important announcement!’
‘What’s she doing?’ Laurie says to me in the kitchen, gripping my arm. ‘It’s the middle of service.’
‘I wanted to let you know,’ Nina continues, ‘it’s our volunteer Laurie’s birthday today.’
‘Oh no,’ says Laurie, ‘no, no, no.’ She turns to me, cross. ‘Did you know about this?’
‘Laurie, can you come out to the front?’ Nina calls.
Laurie grips my arm even tighter.
‘Come on,’ I say, ‘we can do this, together.’
‘People haven’t had their puddings yet,’ Laurie says to me, firmly rooted to the spot.
‘Come on,’ I encourage once more.
‘Their dinner will get cold.’
‘Laurie, for once in your life can you allow yourself to be loved?’
‘No.’
Somehow, I manage to walk her out of the kitchen and into the dining room. ‘Here she is,’ Nina says, everyone cheering and clapping as we stand alongside Nina, and all the other volunteers, including Tom, Chandice, Scottie, Monika, Craig and Ian. Nina makes space for Laurie. She stands, stiff as a piece of cardboard. ‘Can everyone start singing to our baby of the group, Laurie! Twenty today!’
Laurie holds my hand, her palm sweaty, as we all sing. She looks like she wants the ground to swallow her up.
I’m certain I’m singing the loudest.
‘You’resoflat,’ Laurie tells me, her grip finally relaxing, and I do my best to sing the last line even more loudly.
‘Isn’t she?’ someone says as everyone cheers.
My heart stops, before we both turn round to see Angus walking towards us. I feel many different emotions, but the overriding one is how happy I am to see him. I watch as he high-fives Laurie, the two of them laughing. Angus and I still don’t hug her, mindful of how she reacts to touch. And then he turns to me and it’s as if someone has pressed ‘pause’. I don’t know how long we look at one another, wanting to say so much and yet there are no words left. ‘Come here,’ I say, before we throw our arms around one another like long-lost friends.
‘Angus!’ Nina breaks us up. ‘I hope you’re staying for lunch? I thought your family were coming?’
‘They’ll be here any minute,’ he says as we part. ‘Soph’s parking the car.’
Perhaps it helps me that today is all about Laurie’s birthday and marking the beginning of something new for her. It’s only right Angus is here, with us. Laurie’s birthday would not have been complete without him. No matter how little time we spend together now, we will always be a team of three. He came into my life when I needed him most, they both did, and nothing will shatter the precious memories I have of the three of us hanging out together. I grab my mobile from my apron pocket and take a picture of Laurie looking up at him, as if he is the best birthday present ever. ‘Didn’t I tell you she’d love this?’ Nina whispers to me.
I’m only too thrilled to acknowledge Nina was right. Laurie hated birthdays before us, but now that she’s standing in a room filled with love, admiration and acceptance, perhaps she might hate them that little bit less. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Angus,’ Nina says quietly. ‘I wasn’t sure he’d come, and I know things have been awkward.’
‘It’s fine, all good,’ I promise, truly meaning it.
