My legs want to die now, but watching Lauren keeps me going. ‘Reach for the stars, Lauren,’ Angel says as they complete a third, and a fourth. In session one she could only do regressive ones because she lost her breath so quickly. ‘Amazing improvement already, Lauren,’ Angel says. ‘All of you. Good job.’
‘It’ll be the Olympics next?’ suggests Angus.
‘I’m good, but not that good,’ Angel says, making us laugh.
‘OK guys,’ Angel says, as we roll up our mats and have another drink of water. ‘You’re doing brilliantly, but what I want you to think about are the days in-between our sessions now. You don’t need to keep fit in a gym or park. You don’t need the Smiling Assassin standing over you, barking orders.’
‘But you have such a lovely bark,’ says Angus.
She tuts at him. ‘You can keep movingeverywhere. Take a day off and get out of London. Go to the beach and run across the sand, play music, dance in your kitchen, or in your bedroom,’ she says. ‘Dance while you’re peeling spuds at the café, dance when you brush your teeth. Stretch before you go to bed. Walk home when you might have taken the bus, take the stairs instead of the lift. Be creative. Every time you hear the word “run” in a song, get up, move your feet, get those steps up every day. You don’t have to run or jog, walking is just as good, so long as we do it regularly. And finally, I’m giving you all presents. You can take these home and practise, but I want you to bring them back each time, to show me how much you’re improving.’ She hands us each a bright pink fitness hoop. ‘Remember these in the school yard? Who could keep their hoop going the longest?’ Angel puts one around her waist, and we all copy. In that moment I feel such affection for Angus. He doesn’t care about his street cred, his image. In so many ways he reminds me of Jamie. ‘They’re weighted,’ Angel tells us. ‘To make it harder for you.’
‘You’re so kind,’ Angus says. ‘You think of everything.’
‘You’re welcome. Works the hips, waist and your balance.’ Angel shows us in style.
‘Lauren, imagine you’re in Hawaii,’ I say, before my hoop falls on to the ground.
‘On the beach, hula hula,’ she says, laughing, much to the amusement of a few dog walkers, who clap and cheer as they walk on by.
As we all imagine we’re in Hawaii, I realise, for the first time in months, I feel happy. Angel was right. Being here and working out with my friends does help the loneliness. We are in this together. We have goals. A sense of purpose. Everyone needs somebody. I have Angus and Lauren, reminding me I’m not alone. I’m part of a team.
18
‘I need someone to print out the menus, quick,’ Nina says, rushing into the kitchen, her hair tied back, strands falling loose, a pen tucked behind one ear to complete her trademark look.
‘I’ll do it,’ Lauren says, putting her hand up.
Surprise flashes across Nina’s face, before she says, ‘Great, thanks.’
Lauren leaves the kitchen almost as speedily as Nina entered it, practically knocking her over in the process. ‘Craig wanted to start a fight today, have you seen him?’ Nina asks Scottie, before adding, ‘Something smells good.’
Scottie and Monika are cooking aubergine parmigiana, wafts of basil, mozzarella, toasted pine nuts and tomatoes making my mouth water. He’s also doing a ratatouille, and a veggie lemon courgette pasta, as there were so many aubergines and courgettes delivered this morning.
‘Saw him on my fag break,’ Scottie replies. ‘Think he’d had a beer or two. I told him to go.’
Nina doesn’t allow anyone to volunteer if they’ve been drinking. ‘If he comes back, talk to him, see what’s going on, but then send him packing.’
‘Will do, don’t worry.’
‘Courgette and lime cake?’ Nina says, approaching me.
‘You should have seen Tom’s face when I told him.’ Tom had looked so crestfallen at the idea of a vegetable in his pudding.
‘Try it, you’ll love it. You can’t really taste the courgette,’ I’d promised him, but I might as well have been speaking another language. He moved off in a huff, pulling up the straps of his braces.
‘Clever way to get rid of it,’ Nina says. ‘What’s Angus doing now?’
We both look through the hatch to see him dancing as he lays the tables, singing along to Frank Sinatra’s ‘Come Fly with Me’. I smile, knowingexactlywhat he’s doing. Lauren, Angus and I are having a step count competition. Tom is now on his feet, joining in.
Nina touches my shoulder. ‘You’re doing a good job, Holly, and not just here.’ She knows about Angel, and I have to admit, even though we’ve only had six sessions so far, it’s going far better than I expected, so much so that we’ve signed up to train with her for another four months, until Christmas. Angus and I also run together every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday, but I know he’s working out every day, on top of Angel’s sessions. He’s so determined. Once he sets his mind on something, he’s like a terrier.
‘Isn’t she?’ Scottie calls across the kitchen. ‘Angus is applying for jobs. He’s not going to the pub anymore, he’s even out the door first thing to go for a run.’ He turns to me, gratitude in his eyes. ‘Whatever you’ve said, Holly, it’s worked, and I can’t thank you enough.’
My heart softens towards Scottie, who clearly cares deeply about his brother.
Lauren returns with the menus. ‘Can you put them on each table?’ I tell her.
‘Yes, Holly,’ she says, before checking herself. ‘I mean yes, Chef!’
