“I was thinkin’ we could do a crystal reading. We haven’t done one in a while, and I think your aura will give us more answers than the tarot cards at the moment. Your feelin’s are all on the surface today, so if it’s guidance you’re wantin’...”
I think back to the letter that’s still hiding between the cookbooks in my kitchen and to all the times I’ve been thinking about Anna lately, the way I’ve been feeling a little nostalgic and thinking back to the past. I know it’s all because of the trip and Wyatt growing up and leaving the nest, but it could also have a bit to do with my upcoming milestone birthday too.
If Star can help give me a clue as towhyI’m feeling this way and what my future might hold, then bring it on.
“OK. Let’s see what the crystals can tell us,” I say, a mix of apprehension and excitement bubbling inside me.
Star leads me to a small round table in the corner of the shop. On it is an array of crystals scattered on a tray, each one sparkling under the soft glow of the fairy lights hanging above our heads.
I take a seat as Star sits across from me, her gaze fixed on mine. “Close your eyes and take a deep breath, Mags. I can feel the tension you’re holdin’ on to from over here,” she says, a small smile playing on her lips. I sigh because of course she’s right, and do as she says, letting the soothing smell of incense in the air fill my senses.
As I inhale deeply, I feel the weight of all my thoughts and emotions settle in my chest.
Star reaches out and takes my hands, the coolness of her touch grounding me. “I want you to think of a question. Somethin’ that’s been on your mind lately. Let it float to the surface of your thoughts,” she murmurs, her voice gentle and reassuring.
I focus on the letter tucked away in my kitchen, the memories of Anna lingering in the corners of my mind. “What does the future hold for me?” I whisper, almost afraid to voice the question out loud.
With a nod, Star begins to move her hands over the crystals, her fingers hovering over each one briefly before finally selecting a deep blue stone flecked with gold. Placing it in my palm, she closes my fingers around it. “This is a Lapis Lazuli. A stone of truth and self-discovery,” she explains softly as I feel its smooth surface against my skin. “It promotes positive energy. I think this is what you need right now.”
I open my eyes to meet her gaze, a mix of curiosity and determination swirling within me. “What do I need to discover, Star?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.
Star smiles across at me, her eyes reflecting the faint light of the crystals on the table. “The journey of self-discovery isn’t about findin’ somethin’ new but rediscoverin’ what’s already within you.”
I furrow my brow, trying to comprehend her words. ”Rediscoverin’ what?”
"The strength and resilience that have always been a part of you," she replies softly. "Life has thrown you many curveballs, Mags, but time and experience have proven over and over again that you can overcome any challenge that comes your way."
Her words stir up something long dormant in my heart. I think of the years gone by, the struggles and setbacks I’ve faced, and yet here I am, still standing strong. “You think I’m stronger than I realize?”
“I know you are,” Star asserts with unwavering confidence. “You’re also generous and kind, and always puttin’ others before yourself. But it’s time you start prioritizin’ your own happiness.”
I take a moment to absorb her advice, the truth in them ringing loud and clear. “How do I do that? How do I put myself first? I’m almostfifty,” I whisper. “My life is half over already.”
She shakes her head. “Life is what you make of it. But I’m thinkin’ you’re enterin’ a time when youcanstart thinkin’ about yourself and whatyouwant. The first step is not thinkin’ your life is half over and believin’ that it’s just beginnin’,” she says. “It starts with listenin’ to your own heart and honorin’ your own needs and desires. You’ve spent so much of your life takin’ care of others, it’s time you start takin’ care of yourself too.”
The weight of her words settles on my shoulders. Could it really be that simple? To just… focus on myself for once?
As if reading my thoughts, Star reaches out and squeezes my hand. “This trip is your chance to test the waters, Mags. I know you’re nervous about leavin’ but believe me, everythin’s goin’ to work out.” She pauses for a moment, closing her eyes and taking a slow deep breath in before exhaling again. “You’re also runnin’ away from somethin’…” She shakes her head. “No, it’s not that. Maybeavoidin’somethin’?”
A gasp escapes me before I can stop myself. “How do you know?”
She pulls her hand back from mine as a slow-growing smile curves her lips. "Because as soon as I said that, you relaxed.”
My eyes bug out of my head as I silently study her. "You're sneaky."
Star shrugs. “I have gifts, but sometimes just watchin’ people can give you just as many answers as that stone there.”
That gets a startled laugh out of me. “You’re one of a kind, Star.”
“I am. But guess what, Mags? So are you. Don’t let the life you’ve lived before now hold you back. You never know what the universe might have planned for you.”
“You sayin’ there’s a fourth husband lookin' for me out there somewhere? Cause I'm sorry to tell you, it ain’t goin’ to happen. I’m happy with my lot and what I’ve got.”
“And whatI’mtellin’you, Mags, is you need to keep your eyes open. You never know when the universe might have a curveball of its own headed your way.”
I may have wanted some guidance from Star, but as I slowly make my way home to pack for the trip, I realize she’s given me more questions than answers.
All I can hope now is that this trip away will help me start answering them.
