Mom grabs my hand and drags me down the aisle toward the end booth where my biggest regret, mistake, and dream sits with his brother Toby.
"Hey, y'all. Just thought I'd come over here and re-introduce y'all to my daughter, Charlie,” she says, her gaze fixed on Austin whose head jerks up so fast I worry he might've injured himself, his eyes wide.
Nerves hold my body hostage, my muscles locked in place as I meet the deep brown eyes that I once hoped I’d spend the rest of my life losing myself in. My heart pounds in my chest, beating against my ribs like a rock song about lost love. By some miracle, when I part my lips, words come out.
"Austin..." I say softly.
"Charlie..." His voice is rough, and I see him shutter his reaction in front of my eyes, his shock clearing as he stands a little and holds out his hand. "Nice to see you again."
I stare at it, my eyes transfixed on his outstretched arm, IknowI should shake it, but as much as I want to reach out and slide my palm against his, I'm frozen in place. I really wanted a sign–something,anything–to show me there’s a chance. But he’s unreadable.
There’s no missing Mom’s frown, her head snapping between Austin and me. "Do y'all not remember her?"
Austin's face gives nothing away and I fight the swirling emotions inside of me to keep my expression passive. Fifteen years andnothing? Am Ithatforgettable?
Thankfully Toby speaks up, cutting through the awkward silence, shaking his head with a chuckle. "Sorry. I don't remember much from back then." He knocks his hand to his temple. “Maybe I’ve had too many knocks to the head, you know. Toby Graham, this stupefied man’s younger brother.”
"You were a few years behind these two, Tobes," Mom says, laughing it off, her fingers giving mine a reassuring squeeze that puts me at ease. It doesn’t stop the weird fluttering in my stomach though. What’sthatabout? "Anyway, I just wanted to stop by and let you know Charlie's movin' back to town. She’ll eventually be livin’ in the apartment over my garage.”
Toby’s furrowed brows tell me he doesn’t miss the fact Mom has directed this information Austin’s way andnotat the table at large.
Austin’s gaze meets mine for the briefest of moments again and finally,finally, I catch a glimpse of something. Hurt, confusion, maybe wariness? Whatever it is, I’m going to take it. Anything is better than nothing.
Like a switch has been flicked, he snaps out of his frozen state, shooting Toby a pointed look before pulling out his wallet. After slapping some bills on the table, he slides out of the booth, standing next to Mom as he nods between us. "Let us know if there's anythin' we can do to help with the move,” he says in that deep melodic rasp of his I always loved.
When he turns to me, his gaze bores into mine and I swear my heart, my soul, and everything else tries to make a run for it. Probably for self-preservation. "Good to see you again, Charlie,” he rumbles, and I feelthateverywhere. Then, without another word, he walks out of the diner and toward his truck.
Toby, Mom, and I watch him go and suddenly the awkward silence is back. Judging by the puzzled look on Toby's face, he’s as confused as I am. I’m starting to think he has no idea what just happened, let alone the fact that Austin and I used to know each other…
"Guess we're leavin'," he says before exiting the booth and dipping his chin our way. “See you around, Charlie. Mags, always a pleasure.” He leans in to kiss Mom’s cheek before following his brother outside.
“Well, that was interestin’,” Mom murmurs. I’m still stuck on the man walking past the window and hopping into a black truck. A man who fills out a pair of jeansfarbetter than he used to–andthatwas something I didn’t think was possible. “You should see the rest of them. They all grew uprealnice.”
That snaps me out of my daze. “What?”
“The Graham boys.”
I frown in confusion. "OK… why are you tellin’ me about them growin’ up nice?"
She shoulder bumps me before putting her hands on my biceps, turning me around and pushing me back toward the counter. "Cause I know it doesn’t matter. My girl still only has heart eyes for one of them.”
“Mom…” I warn.
She holds her hands up in the air, feigning innocence. “I didn’t say a thing.”
“You did and you know it. Just don't push it, OK? There's a lot of debris under that bridge I want to cross."
Her brows pinch in confusion as we reach the register and she flips a kitchen towel over her shoulder. “I thought the sayin’ waswaterunder the bridge?”
“Well, the water can't flow if there's a big pile of baggage in the way, right? That’s why I’ve decided to update the sayin’. Too much debris can also destroy a bridge if it’s not dealt with properly. You get my drift, Ma?"
Mom lets out a sigh, her eyes filled with a mix of understanding and concern. "Baggage can be unpacked, my dear. Not that I think that’s the issue with you two. It’s more that you were both too scared to talk about you feelin’s and you let life get in the way of somethin' special. Whatever happens, sometimes all it takes to get back what you've lost is a bit of time and a whole lot of humility. Maybe a little forgiveness?"
"There isn't anythin' to forgive. We were friends and I caught feelin’s?—"
"Best friends, but it was more than that–onbothsides. Don't kid yourself."
I take a deep breath, trying to find the right words. "Ma, let's just drop it for now, OK? I'm finally back home where I belong and I still have to get settled. Then there's startin’ my new job. I can't move forward if I keep lookin' back. Isn't that what you always told me? Especially since..." Mom's soft eyes tell me she knows exactly what I'm talking about. "There's nothin' to be gained by dwellin' on the past. It’s better to move forward together. Start fresh and all that."
