I like Toby. Imorethan like him, but it feels like there’s just one last piece of the puzzle that hasn’t clicked in place for me yet. And it’s nothing to do with the man himself, it’s all me.
There’s a mental list in my head with a whole lot of pros and very little cons. He’s a good guy, one of the best. He’s caring and kind, considerate, charming, a gentleman even though his reputation at the Secret Cowcouldmake you doubt that. He's hard-working, thoughtful, and genuine. He's a man with the biggest heart and the best of intentions.
But is this a ‘forever’ kind of thing or simply lust? Does he want what I want? Could I stay here and call Bull Mountain Ranch my home forever and does he want that too?
He's been different since I got back from Montana. He's still the same smiling, happy, cheerful Toby, but other than our time on the mountaintop where I felt like we were two halves of the same soul, there have been no more moments, no near-kisses or anything remotely like that.
For all I know, the slow burn he suggested months ago has simply turned into a missed connection story or a sliding doors moment where I've missed my chance.
What Iamconfused about iis why my pillow smells like him? Not that I’m sad about that, Toby smells good even when he’s been working in the fields all day. Maybe I’m hallucinating,Or a bit of wishful thinking, who knows?
My mood isn’t being helped by the fact that I’ve just finished reading one of Aster’s latest books and I'm pretty damn sure I’m either losing my mind, or that it has been written about two people from right here on the ranch. But surely that’s not possible? That would mean that the'crazy mountain stories'aren’t so fictional after all?
I pull out my phone to message the group chat with the girls.
Dee: I have a question and I think you guys can help me.
Cora: Sure thing. Ask away.
Leah: I’m here too.
Mags: Can I say I'm here when this old girl is half asleep?
Dee: Haha. Yeah, Mags. You’re here in spirit.
Mags: You got it in one.
Star: OK, signing in for duty. What’s wrong?
Cora: Should we be asking what Toby did now?
Dee: Nothing that I know of. But I’m reading one of Aster’s books and I swear it’s about Leah and Colton.
My heart taps furiously against my ribs as I watch Leah's name pop up as if she's typing then stop again. More typing… then stop again.
Star: That didn’t take long. Then again, I knew you’d figure it out :)
I frown, rereading our messages to make sure I’m not misunderstanding anything.
Dee: WHAT?
Mags: Maybe I should be awake for this.
Cora: Uh oh…
Dee: Guys…
Star: It’s OK, Dee. It’s a good thing you know.
Leah: Dee, that book IS about us. Well, based on us–me and Colt.
Dee: WOW. That's so cool. Must be amazing to have a romance author who wants to write YOUR love story into a book.
Leah: Sure is. There’s a bit more to it though.
My brows scrunch. What more could there be? Aster heard about Lee and Colt’s story and wanted to immortalize it in print. It’s kind of special.
Cora: A LOT more. And too much to discuss over text messages.
