I never fucking did.
I’d sooner drive my erection through a meat grinder than ever betray her.
When I tried to explain to Ella what happened, she didn’t listen to me. In lieu, she barred the gates of her heart, banished me to the purgatory, and doled out her retributions via cruel insults.
For something that was completely out of my control months ago.
“Still obsessed with my dick, I see,” I mocked. “Let me guess, you want another ride, sweetheart?”
“I wouldn’t fuck you if you were the last guy on earth.”
If given the opportunity, my ex-girlfriend would probably gouge my balls with her witchy claws and feed them to Francisco Cordova’s guard dogs.
Since it was her broken heart speaking, I let her statementslide. “Keep telling yourself that, Ella.”
“God, you’re so arrogant. I really fucking hate you.”
That one hurt the most.
No matter how much pain she inflicted upon me, I didn’t hate her.
Even now, with all the bad blood between us, I loved this girl more than my own life.
Our love had been like a two-sided coin. Dark and thorned. Beautiful and transcending. We’d been young, all-consumed, and everything to one another. There were no secrets, no judgements, no qualms in our bond. Without a shadow’s doubt, in my next life, I would find her until our destinies intertwined once again.
She was mine for all lifetimes to come and I was irrevocably hers.
We were fated.
Though there were times where I cursed the day I laid eyes on her. By falling in love with Ella, I unknowingly gave her power over my being.
In front of the world, I was indestructible. But in her palms, I was malleable—she could mold me, break me, mend me all in one stroke.
I was clay and she was the creator with the ability to breathe life into me.
The first two weeks after our breakup, I felt like a shell of a man. I could barely eat, sleep, or function. My body was in a state of utter numbness. As though I’d physically lost a part of me and was just learning how to cope without it. Nothing compared to the torment of heartbreak.
It took me a very long time to put my pieces back in a semblance of my once whole.
I was bruised but patched up and ready for another chance to explain my truth…If she would let me.
“Who’s the liar now, Ella?” I threw back, wanting her to fucking eat her words.
She may not admit it now, but our feelings ran deep. Ella, regardless of her spiteful words, still felt something for me. Even if it throbbed faintly in her heart.
It was still there.
In the way she watched me, with a mixture of forlorn and determined wrath, whenever we chanced upon each other. In the way her pulse sped up whenever I was near. In the way her eyes drew to my mouth, helplessly, like a moth to a flame.
On the outside, she could pretend to hate me.
But on the inside, I knew some part of her still wanted me.
Ella marched over to the closed library doors. “I can’t do this with you right now.” She held her flashlight with her left hand, while her right hand struggled with the olden handles. “Joder mi vida.C’mon, c’mon. Open up!”
Sick perversion rolled through me at the thought of us being stuck together. I had an inkling that the library doors were locked, unless we found the key to get us out. This was all part of the game.
“It’s no use,” I said, crossing over to her.
